Monday, November 30, 2009

Road To The Get Together: Final Rankings Before Selection Sunday (or Tuesday)

Rank, Team, Record, LW, BCS Rank

(1) Alabama (12-0) (1) 2
(2) Texas (12-0) (3) 3
(3) TCU## (12-0) (2) 4
(4) Florida (12-0) (4) 1
(5) Boise St## (12-0) (5) 6
(6) Cincinnati (11-0) (7) 5
(7) BYU (10-2) (10) 14
(8) Ohio St## (10-2) (8) 8
(9) Georgia Tech (10-2) (6) 10
(10) Oregon (9-2) (9) 7
(11) Iowa (10-2) (11) 9
(12) Houston (10-2) (13) 21
(13) Virginia Tech (9-3) (16) 12
(14) Central Michigan (10-2) (15) NR
(15) Miami (9-3) (21) 17
(16) Penn St (10-2) (12) 11
(17) LSU (9-3) (20) 13
(18) USC (8-3) (22) 18
(20) Nebraska (9-3) (25) 22
(19) Utah (9-3) (14) 25
(21) Troy## (9-3) (26) NR
(22) Mid Tenn St. (9-3) NR NR
(23) Stanford (8-4) (27) 24
(24) Pitt (9-2) (17) 15
(25) Oklahoma St. (9-3) (18) 20
(26) Temple (9-3) (19) NR
(27) Cal (8-3) (23) 19
(28) Ohio (9-3) NR NR
(29) Oregon St. (8-3) (24) 16
(30) Missouri (8-4) NR NR
(31) West Virginia (8-3) NR 23
(32) East Carolina* (8-4) (32) NR

STILL ALIVE (IN ORDER):
Nevada (8-4)
Northwestern (8-4)
Wisconsin (8-3)
Clemson (8-4)
Ole Miss (8-4)
Texas Tech (8-4)
South Florida (7-4)
South Carolina (7-5)
Georgia (7-5)
Rutgers (8-3)
Fresno St. (7-4)
Arizona (7-4)

*= projected auto-bid only
##= clinched auto bid

If you are wondering what the BCS sham championship should look like if things were fair, according to the T-3000 there should be four teams still alive: Alabama, TCU, Florida and Texas. Even if you believe in the BCS, this ranking generally matches 1 and 2. The only way I think it won't match is if Florida beats Alabama and Nebraska beats Texas. Under that scenario, the T-3000 deems Florida and Alabama 1 and 2, which will never fucking happen in real life. TCU would get in if Alabama beats Florida and Nebraska beats Texas.

But we don't have to worry about any of this garbage, because we have a tournament! Actually, we have a Get Together (Brought to you by KY). And the bracket will be revealed sometime between Sunday and the middle of next week, whenever I get around to posting the T-3000 results.

Tigah Wooo: Counterpoint

I agree with most of what Bear had to say. His scenario is just as plausible as any.

But from my standpoint, here is the problem: He is making this shit WAY worse for himself than need be by refusing to say anything to anyone, and lashing out about "irresponsibility". Tiger could just throw out some bullshit, still refuse to talk to the police, and everyone would forget about it and move on to whatever stupid shit the Jon and Kate Plus 8 guy was doing in Las Vegas last weekend or what Octomom was pushing out of her womb.

But what he is doing is just weird. It is buying him at least another solid week of Wendy Nix camped out near his house until he says something. Anything.

At the end of the day, 99% of people really don't care what happened. But he is a celebrity, and when famous people do anything out of the ordinary it is always news for a few days. So he needs to get over it and say something. Otherwise, everyone is going to assume you are a wife beating, adulterous, drug abuser, even if none of it is true. Because people are assholes.

SPEAKING OF OWIS

Glad to see Bear made it home alive. While not completely shitfaced, I believe he probably had plenty to drink on Friday. I for one, was pretty drunk, and was hungover in the morning for some reason. Perhaps it was the Parliament cigarettes being blown directly in my face. Either way, I'm not sure what it takes to get a 1200 pound bear drunk. So never mind.

Tiger Woods...

I hate to even mention it because I've mostly been trying to ignore it, but ok here goes. So Tiger Woods got into a car accident over the weekend. He apparently left his home at like 2:30 in the morning, and the following events occurred, but not necessarily in this particular order: His back window was busted out, he crashed his vehicle, the police were called, his wife was around for at least 2 of the 3 events.

Of course around the time the crash happened, Tiger was revealed to be cavorting around town with some mistress by the tabloids. Pretty convenient news break, but whatever, shit happens. This is probably what went down, Tiger is relaxing at home, getting some rest on a rare weekend off, his wife reads the tabloids, without even asking him about it, probably goes off into a huge tirade about how he just ruined her life. Did Tiger cheat on her? I don't know, probably, who cares? He's Tiger Woods, she knew what she was getting into when she was marrying a billionaire, free ride for the rest of her life and a small celebrity spotlight. Don't bitch when the coat tails you're riding on hit a tiny bump.

So anyways, she's going off on Tiger, he's got no good comeback off the top of his head because he probably was cheating on her and the guilt of the situation being shoved in his face by his wife probably made him freeze up. So then he says, fuck this I gotta clear my head, so he hops in his car to take off for a drive. Only crazy bitch has had one too many glasses of wine and is now pissed cuz Tiger not talking to her about it at the time has pretty much confirmed in her drunken mind that he is in fact cheating on her and is making her look like a fool to all of the other golfer's wives, who are also being cheated on.

She grabs the closest thing to her, which in Tiger Woods' house is a golf club, and chases him down their driveway. He sees her in the rear view as he is stopped at the end of the driveway to pull out, says oh shit and tries to gun it onto the road. She throws/swings the club into the back window, Tiger's probably never been driving a car before and had his windows smashed out while he's moving, freaks out, loses control of the car and hits a tree.

Wife smirks at the carnage she creates, until she sees Tiger stagger out of drivers seat, obviously shaken by what has just happened. She remembers he is her meal ticket and oh shit dials 911. While she's screaming and crying "I'm sorry I'm sorry" until the cops show up, Tiger just lays on the ground in the hopes that she may think he was knocked unconscious. He then gets into the ambulance and heads to the hospital so that he can finally get his mind clearing alone time drive out of the way, which is all that the man wanted to do in the first place.

I have no idea if Tiger was on some pain meds or whatever that would technically constitute giving him a DUI. Who gives a shit? He's Tiger Woods, he has a billion dollars, give him the fucking ticket right now, he probably wouldn't even fight it. I'm just sick and tired of people saying, oh my god I can't believe the preferential treatment that celebrities get. Um, what? If I was driving that car you can bet your ass the cops would have never been called and if they had been called by a neighbor I would have the same right as Tiger Woods has right now. I don't have to say a fucking word until they find something to charge me with and I go to court. I think that's right, isn't it lawyer friends?

Also how is this going to ruin Tiger Woods' career? Last time I checked he can still play golf and will still be Tiger Woods. Oh no this may hurt his endorsements. Tiger Woods doesn't get turned down for ads because he got in one car accident because of a psycho wife incident. Tiger Woods gets a small red flag on his marketability file for murdering a hobo and throwing his body off a bridge as a cop drives by while Woods is whistling and smiling to himself.

We need to invade another country or N. Korea needs to blow up another fucking missile somewhere so this isn't news anymore

Hatin' and Complainin'

-I hate fantasy football. This week marks at least the third time I've lost by less than 5 points. I'm now 5-7 and have virtually no chance at the playoffs. I've now lost four straight turns on TE roulette. This week, I started Vernon Davis who had a nice game (18 points), and sat Antonio Gates who of course had his best game of the year (7 catches, 118 yds, 2 TD, 30 points). Last week I started Gates, who shit the bed, while Davis went off. The week before I started Davis and Gates went off. The week before I started Gates and Davis went off. It is a virtual guarantee that if I start a TE, the other guy is going mental. Also, I would have won two of those games had I started the right TE.

-I hate Vince Young. I also lost yesterday because my brother was forced to start Vince Young at QB. And Vince Young decided to turn into John Elway circa 1986, and drive the fucking Titans 99 yards, culminating in a last second TD pass which turned out to be the difference in my fantasy game. Did Vince Young forget that he is an mediocre QB, clearly not capable of doing what he did. 387 YARDS??? Are you fucking shitting me??? If you are keeping score at home I've now lost when MJD kneeled at the one, and when Vince Young drove 99 yards with under two minutes left and threw a last second TD. I am the Houston Texans of the OJSFA.

-Creighton's trip to Orlando for the Old Spice Classic was an absolute disaster. Up 10 to #15 in the American Popularity poll Michigan in the second half, they shit the bed in OT. They got crushed by similarly situated, but bigger named Xavier. The lost to fucking Iona. They wasted a great opportunity, and have nobody to blame but themselves. The only conceivable way they are getting an at large is if they run the table. Not enough good teams left on the schedule (and yes, I know it is November 30th). Teams from the Valley don't get many shots at legit tournament teams, and they have to take full advantage when they do. They need to get right and concentrate on winning Arch Madness.

-I purchased tickets to Packers v. Ravens next Monday night, from a legitimate broker, for $49 each. Which is $10 less than face value. Which is insane.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Turkey Day Pregame Spectacular


First, I ought to get my quick and shitty picks in so that everyone can run to their offshore bookies and place bets solely based upon the opinions of an anonymous Internet blogger:

Last Week: 6-10
Season: 68-66-1
All-Time: 202-192-3

GB(-11), Dal (-13.5), NYG (-6.5), Mia (-3), Sea (-3), Phi (-9), Atl (-12), Ind (-3), Cin (-14), Car (+3), Jax (+3), SD (-13.5), Min (-10.5), Ten (NL), NE (+3)

PACKERS

They will kick the shit out of the Lions today. At least 50% of fans will be Packer fans. There will be some shitty Motown act at halftime. I enjoy Thanksgiving Packer games because it gives me an excuse to be a loud asshole, not talk to anyone, and wear a jersey on Thanksgiving instead of a sweater or some shit.

CREIGHTON

Takes on nationally popular Michigan on a neutral court today. Don't have a great grasp on the Jays yet. Not a game they will be favored to win, but they could do it. Will be watching via DVR.

BADGERS

Nice trip to Maui. Frustrated a bit by the Gonzaga game. I think the Zags were clearly the more talented team, but if we make more than 20% of our threes, we are right there. I'm liking Leuer alot. Also, Keaton Nankivil is on pace to break the all-time record for missed dunks in traffic that look incredibly athletic and would bring the house down if he made them, but then go off the back of the rim and land at mid court. I counted at least 4 this weekend. Two really nice wins against Arizona and Maryland that will help the future resume. Duke will beat us by 20.

BEER REVIEW

Leinenkugel's Fireside Nut Brown, Version 2.0. I was assured via radio by the Leinenkugels that they reformulated the seasonal nut brown. Last year's version tasted like I was licking a pancake doused in maple syrup. The year is much improved. Not quite a Fat Squirrel, but it actually does taste like a Nut Brown, and I would buy it again.

Happy Thanksgiving

Monday, November 23, 2009

Road to The Get Together Top 32: Week 12

Rank, Team, Record, Last Week, BCS Rank
(1) Alabama (11-0) (1) 2
(2) TCU## (11-0) (3) 4
(3) Texas (11-0) (2) 3
(4) Florida (11-0) (5) 1
(5) Boise St (11-0) (7) 6
(6) Georgia Tech (10-1) (4) 7
(7) Cincinnati (10-0) (6) 5
(8) Ohio St## (10-2) (8) 10
(9) Oregon (9-2) (9) 8
(10) BYU (9-2) (10) 19
(11) Iowa (10-2) (11) 11
(12) Penn St (10-2) (17) 13
(13) Houston (9-2) (14) 23
(14) Utah (9-1) (16) 21
(15) Central Michigan (9-2) (23) NR
(16) Virginia Tech (8-3) (18) 14
(17) Pitt (9-1) (13) 9
(18) Oklahoma St. (9-2) (21) 12
(19) Temple (9-2) (22) NR
(20) LSU (8-3) (12) 15
(21) Miami (8-3) (20) 17
(22) USC (7-3) (15) 20
(23) Cal (8-3) (30) 22
(24) Oregon St. (8-3) (28) 16
(25) Nebraska (8-3) (26) NR
(26) Troy## (8-3) (27) NR
(27) Stanford (7-4) (19) NR
(28) Clemson (8-3) (29) 18
(29) Ole Miss (8-3) NR 25
(30) Nevada (8-3) (31) NR
(31) Northwestern (8-4) NR NR
(32) East Carolina* (7-4) (32) NR

*= projected autobid, would not qualify without conference title
##= clinched automatic bid

ON THE BUBBLE (HOWEVER UNLIKELY SOME MAY BE):

South Florida (7-3), Wisconsin (8-3), Navy (8-3), Idaho (7-4), Fresno St. (7-4), William & Mary (9-2), West Virginia (7-3), Auburn (7-4), Richmond (10-1), Notre Dame (6-5), South Carolina (6-5), Kentucky (7-4), Texas Tech (7-4), Georgia (6-5), Missouri (7-4), Villanova (10-1), North Carolina (8-3), Arizona (6-4), Oklahoma (6-5), Arkansas (7-4), Uconn (5-5), Boston College (7-4), UCLA (6-5), Rutgers (7-3), Florida St. (6-5)

ANALYSIS

Just a reminder of how this works. Each conference champion gets an automatic bid. And not just BCS conferences. All of them. Top 8 seeds will host regional on their campuses, with the possibility of hosting the first two rounds. Quarterfinals and Semifinals are at various bowl sites. Title game is at the Rose Bowl, because the Rose Bowl kicks ass.

According to the T-3000, it appears that the Florida/Alabama winner will be the number one overall seed barring any huge upset to either prior to the SEC title game. It will be tight between TCU, Texas and the Florida/Alabama loser for number two, especially if Florida beats Alabama. Texas has the built in advantage of the conference title game, while TCU is not interested in making extra cash and tiring themselves out before the Get Together. They will take their two homes games and an extra week off. The T-3000 has been doing this both publicly and not for about 4 years now, so that I can bitch about the BCS, and it has had the same top 2 as the BCS every year, even when all the crazy shit happens in the last week of college football, like is going to happen in the next two weeks.

On a side note, if we have FIVE undefeated teams. Can we seriously stop making up bullshit to defend the BCS??? It is one thing if you are talking about one undefeated against a slew of one loss, or even a slew of one loss teams, on the theory that if you lose a game you can't bitch. But to go unbeaten and be barred from a title shot is a crime. ESPECIALLY, if you are a team like Cincinnati, who might go unbeaten in a BCS conference, and get fucked. Not that anyone getting fucked is right, but the BCS goes out of its way to favor those from big conferences.

But really, it is a perfect system and should not be destroyed.

Upon Further Review

Bummer. I guess I shouldn't start buying playoff tickets quite yet. Our pass coverage probably only gets slightly worse because Kampman was a disaster in coverage. But so is Bush, and probably Brandon Underwood.

Quick Movie Review: "Max Payne"

Fucking terrible, even with low expectations. Plot was retarded and disjointed. Action was OK at best. Worst Mark Wahlberg movie ever. What was the point of Mila Kunis's character??? I'm supposed to just believe that her sister gets chopped up, she thinks Max Payne did it, but he just says it wasn't him and then she just shows up with a machine gun on his behalf? Dumb. Seriously, don't bother. I will never get that hour and a half back.

Short Week = Very Little Work

It is November 23rd. I live in Northeast Wisconsin. It is like 50 degrees out. The weather this weekend, and especially yesterday when I was outside most of the day was unfair. I'm positive I've been to Packer games in late November when it was 10 degrees out. Yesterday I had on a sweatshirt and jeans and could not have been more comfortable. It was awesome. The first half performance of the Pack was equally awesome. The 49ers had NEGATIVE 6 yards passing in the first half. Take away that random 50+ yard run by Gore and we are talking somewhere in the neighborhood of 25 total yards allowed. The Pack did whatever they wanted on offense, including RUNNING THE BALL. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that when your running back, even one as mediocre (at best) as Grant is getting six yards a carry, you should probably give him more than 21 carries. If you can run at six yards a clip, you are impossible to beat. Just another 344yd 2TD, 0INT performance by Rodgers, which is quickly becoming an average game. Sports Bottle is correct about the second half. McCarthy either made no adjustments, or adjusted conservatively and got overmatched by Singletary in the second half. The Niners made it interesting. I hope Harris isn't out for any length of time, but initial reports aren't good. At one point in the second half, the right side of our defensive backfield contained the names: "Bush", "Underwood" and "Bigby". That has 40 points written all over it. Tramon Williams is serviceable, but we are going to struggle in passing downs. Right now, things are looking up at 6-4. I think every game we have left is at least winnable (and losable I suppose).

One awkward thing about yesterday was the pre-game. I posted up at Buffalo Wild Wings at 9:30 a.m. Typically, this is just early enough to get one of the last remaining tables. But for some reason, it never got ridiculously packed in there. I thought, well, maybe the weather is just that good that everyone is outside. But even outside there weren't that many people. It wasn't until we actually got to the line to get into the stadium that it didn't feel strangely quiet. The crowd was normal, so that part wasn't affected. Was it deer hunting? Perhaps. Just was a little odd.

I couldn't convince my old man to come get me before the game, so I ended up getting mildly intoxicated, but having to turn down that last beer. Also, my old man somehow managed to eat a breakfast of pancakes before leaving for the game, then ordered 8 boneless wings (which was all I was able to eat) AND 3 pulled pork sliders with fries. He also had three 23 oz Sam Adams Winter Lagers, which are also filling. It is incredible how much he is able to eat. I felt like I was going to puke when we left BWW and I didn't have the pork sliders.

-The Badgers shit the bed, and as you'll see later, now must win to have any chance at the Get Together.

-I went to the UWGB-Long Beach St. game on Saturday. It was another excuse to drink before noon. The arena was about 1/3 full. Not a terrible game. UWGB lost by 12. The tickets were free. It continues to amaze me that UWGB can get only about 3 to 5k for a game, while Creighton can get 17,000.

-UW plays Arizona at 11 p.m. tonight in Maui. Chances I stay awake to see any of it? 0%

-My OJSFA team, The White Broncos, have fallen to 5-6 after my third straight ass beating. I pretty much need to win out to make the playoffs. I am beyond annoyed by my team.

-I plan to do as little work as possible for the next three days. I used my last vacation day on Friday, even though I shouldn't have to. That day should be an automatic holiday. It is fucking retarded that I have to waste a vacation day.

-It is my birthday tomorrow. Pour out some liquor for planet earth.

Money Well Spent

I'll be completely honest, the amount of "cash" I spent on Mike Sims-Walker was well worth it. The money I spent on Matt Hasselback was not well spent, but I don't give a shit, I knew I wouldn't be picking anyone else up for the rest of the year.

I'll admit I didn't watch as much of the Packer game as I would've liked. And I'll admit I found myself watching the Colts/Ravens game on CBS because I have Peyton Manning. But I've finally learned my lesson. I simply cannot watch my fantasy players. After approximately 15 years of fantasy football I've finally realized my fantasy players suck big floppy donkey dick when I watch. Manning threw a pick and couldn't get in the end zone from the 5 as I watched. This is an intense season of OJSFA. A TV deal is right around the corner. Maybe the Ocho?

The Packers did something all teams seem to do - after dominating the first half they changed their course of action in the 2nd half. Why the FUCK would any coach do that? Get up 40 before you lay down and take a shit.

The NFL is completely fucked up this year. How can the Raiders beat anyone? How does Pittsburgh lose to KC? Brady Quinn threw for 3 TDs in one quarter and he's worse than awful. That makes me feel pretty good going into the Thanksgiving game against the Lions. A Westwood One announcer on the radio last week stated, "I can't believe how bad Cleveland is." I love when the Packers play on Thanksgiving. But an 11:30 game is pretty early for me.

TV review - Dexter - absolutely fantastic show. I just finished season 3. The premise of the show is great and there are a million tiny dark humor moments. I believe there are probably many people who wouldn't see the humor. That's too bad for them.

New season of South Park is fantastic. Cartman singing "Poker Face" is classic.

Video game review - New Super Mario Brothers Wii - fucking awesome. It's the classic Mario game for the Wii, but much more difficult. The best part is that up to 4 players can play at the same time. I've actually got my girlfriend to play with me, bless her heart. She sucks, but she tries. Players have the option to allow another player to play a certain part solo, and she knows when to sit back and let the master (me) take over. Nothing gets a guy some ass more than his Mario skills. Jot that down.
Tar Heel update - a very good, yet young, team this year. I'll predict 8-10 losses this year and probably a 5 or 6 seed. There offense simply isn't good enough this year to allow as many points as they do. But it's anyone's guess how good they'll be by the end of the year and into the ACC Tourney. Y'all will need to get used to the fact that they will win the NCAA Tournament once every 4-5 years. Roy Williams is simply too good of a recruiter. They have a top 5 class this year and they already have three top 20 recruits next year, including #1 Harrison Barnes.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Karl Malone Has Nothing On Me

I thoroughly and completely mail it in every single Friday afternoon. I came in this morning with good intentions. I really did. In fact, I was here by 6:45 am because I was a bit stressed because I had been at a seminar for the past two days. I came to work with a pile of mail and a pile of phone messages to respond to. I plowed through most of that before lunch. Got the important stuff done. And then I ate lunch. And, like every other Friday, I completely lost any desire to do anything.

Not that I typically have much desire to do anything, but by about 2 on every Friday, my brain is toast, I am physically tired, I am looking forward to whatever I'm doing this weekend, and the bosses are sneaking out the back door to begin their weekends.

Also, I occasionally get a random Blackberry messages from my brother that have pictures of a 4-pack of Sparks attached to them at 3:30 pm. I still have no clue why he sent me this picture like 8 minutes ago.

All of this makes it even HARDER to work on Friday. I just surf the web, stare at the clock and try to pretend I'm busy because I sort of need a job in order to make money in order to pay bills.

Friday afternoons were created by Satan (Bear) himself.

Male Bonding

I've got plans to do some male bonding this weekend with my dad and brother. Now, I know what you are probably thinking. But you are dead wrong. We're not going to go out into the woods piss drunk with a rifle and try to shoot something while freezing our asses off. See, even though I grew up in a city that most people that live in cities would consider "the country", I am not a hunter. My dad is not a hunter. My brother is not a hunter. We are city folk, through and through. The closest I've ever come to deer hunting was at the arcade. Or watching a Bucks game. This weekend is the opening of deer season, and we will be going in the opposite direction of all of the dudes in blaze orange.

On Saturday, I got two free tickets to UWGB v. Long Beach St. I'm taking the old man because my wife for some reason "hates" UWGB. We will probably have a beverage or two, maybe some food, probably talk some shit. Should be 3 or 4 hours of bonding tops. It should be a good time. I get to drink, talk out of my ass, hang out with the old man, and not clean/watch my wife clean. I will be missing UW v. Northwestern for this game. I'm going 31-20 UW. 73-62 Dirtbags over UWGB.

Sunday is for Packer games. And Packer games are for drinking (at least a bit). For this one I'm going to try to con my dad into driving so that I can get slightly intoxicated. My dad has to work at 11 p.m., but he's never met a beer that he wouldn't drink, regardless of work/driving. I'm sure he won't get totally pissed up, but he is willing to push the envelope way further than I am. Probably will inhale some Buffalo Wild Wings and drink as much as I can until the game starts. Then I will get forced to drink a few more in the stadium I'm sure. It will work out much better if he drives, because then I won't have to turn down drinks or make a sketchy drive home. My brother is meeting us there, and there is a 98% chance he will be hungover. For the record, Green Bay has done extremely well against NFC opponents in games I've been to. I'm feeling GB 27, SF 14.

OTHER STUFF

I should be more pissed about MJD kneeling down at the one and costing me the game against Ricky (lost by 5).

This post was rambling and incoherent. For that I apologize.

Have fun in the woods assholes.

Picks Quick and Dirty

Last Week: 6-7-1
Season: 62-56-1
All-Time: 196-182-3

Car(-3), Dal (-11), Det (-3.5), GB(-7), Pit (-10), Min (-11), NYG (-7), NO (-11), Jax (-9), Ind (+1.5), Ari (-9), SD (NL), Cin (-10), NE (-10.5), Phi (-3), Hou (-4.5)

I'll probably have more later.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Iraqi Detainees hit soldiers where it hurts most

If there's ever been irrefutable evidence of the effect of globalization, this link to WTMJ's website about Iraqi detainees talking smack about Favre to Wisconsin soldiers has to be exhibit A. Twitter user Bobby O'Shea tossed the link around. Hilarious stuff.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Road To The Get Together Top 32: Week 11

We have our first auto bid, as Ohio St. wins the Big 10. Only 31 more bids to fill. The top 7 remained exactly the same. Awkward. Also, the I-AA teams are gone, probably for good.

Rank, Team, Record, Last Week, BCS

(1) Alabama (10-0) (1) 2
(2) Texas (10-0) (2) 3
(3) TCU (10-0) (3) 4
(4) Georgia Tech (10-1) (4) 7
(5) Florida (10-0) (5) 1
(6) Cincinnati (10-0) (6) 5
(7) Boise St (10-0) (7) 6
(8) Ohio St ##(9-2) (12) 10
(9) Oregon (8-2) (11) 11
(10) BYU (8-2) (13) 22
(11) Iowa (9-2) (8) 13
(12) LSU (8-2) (15) 8
(13) Pitt (9-1) (17) 9
(14) Houston (8-2) (10) 24
(15) USC (7-3) (9) 18
(16) Utah (8-1) (14) 21
(17) Penn St (9-2) (18) 14
(18) Virginia Tech (7-3) (23) 15
(19) Stanford (7-3) (28) 17
(20) Miami (7-3) (16) 20
(21) Oklahoma St. (8-2) (20) 12
(22) Temple (8-2) (25) NR
(23) Central Michigan (8-2) (21) NR
(24) Wisconsin (8-2) (24) 16
(25) Navy (8-3) (26) NR
(26) Nebraska (7-3) NR NR
(27) Troy (7-3) (19) NR
(28) Oregon St. (7-3) NR 19
(29) Clemson (7-3) NR 23
(30) Cal (7-3) NR 25
(31) Nevada* (7-3) (32) NR
(32) East Carolina* (6-4) NR NR

*= projected automatic bid, would not qualify without auto bid
##=clinched automatic bid

I Didn't Get Stabbed

I had my first Craigslist purchasing experience last night. I bought two obviously counterfeited Packer-49er tickets from some dude. I went to his house in G.B., and paid straight cash homey. I brought my wife along as a witness in the likelihood that not only was I being sold fake tickets, but that said "seller" was going to rob and stab me.



I felt like I was going to buy crack or something when I hopped in the car and stopped at the ATM to withdraw $140. It honestly felt highly illegal, and may have been. I'm not sure how the whole scalping thing actually works. The guy had a "website" and claimed to have charged me "sales tax". I dunno, whatever, it cost me $67.50 each for $59 face value tickets. Which is a fucking bargain. Especially on a Monday.



Also, I nearly got screwed by StubHub earlier in the day by buying tickets that weren't next to each other. It was not made clear at all until I was one click away from having my card charged. Fucking assholes.



Buying tip: Try to buy from some shady character with a mustache and Packer themed Hawaiian shirts so you can avoid the ridiculous $15 "service fees".



But seriously, they looked legit. So I'm going to go watch the Pack turn into the opposite of last week again. All of this is like the one advantage to living in Green Bay, and makes it all worth it.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Weekend Schizophrenia

Wow. Where to begin? How about a list? In chronological order? Don't mind if I do!

-Well, Bucky took care of his shit. (8-2) is looking pretty good right now (especially to get into the Get Together). Anything short of (10-2) is going to be disappointing. It really is too bad that college football is stupid and they will get no chance to do anything special. Not saying they would, but at least they would get a shot.

-CU played Dayton tough, and looked really, really good in the first half. But ultimately they couldn't hang on. Not a back breaking loss, but they aren't going to get any favors from the committee going forward. They are going to need a big win in Orlando (pretty sure they play Michigan, which would qualify) for their resume, or they will need to wipe out the Valley. It is early to make these proclamations, but when you are a mid-major, your margin for error is razor thin.

-Movie Review: "Law Abiding Citizen". I don't see that many movies in the theater. This one was pretty fucking bad ass. I would recommend it. The premise is a tad ridiculous, and by tad I mean completely impossible. But it was cool either way. Jamie Foxx still isn't a very good actor. He should stick to playing cross-dressers in "In Living Color". But he didn't ruin the movie. I'd give it 3.5 out of 5, although I am a very tough judge.

-Ladies and gentlemen, Brandon Jennings! You know he is good when I'm getting text messages from MORE THAN ONE random person to get me to turn on the game, especially when these people are not really huge NBA fans. And then, when I do turn it on, my wife (who is probably in the bottom 5 in the nation in NBA-fandom, and who every time I turn a Bucks game on, which is very infrequently, remarks that she "wishes the Bucks would move from Milwaukee so she didn't have to think about them sucking anymore") was interested. What a ridiculous performance. Make room on the bandwagon! (at least until their first 10 game losing streak or inevitable Jennings injury). This all means I will probably make room for them in the channel switching rotation, and be cognizant of when they actually play, lets not get crazy yet. But it does appear from 7 games that the Bucks have finally hit big on a lottery pick.

-The Packers have a mental illness. How they can go from playing as bad as they did last week to playing as well as they did (generally) this week? We lose to one of the worst teams in the league and then beat one of the best? I dunno. The defense was preseason-esque. They were all over Romo's ass. Woodson did his best defensive player of the year impression: 9 tackles, 2 forced fumbles, INT, sack. Hawk and Barnett were not non-existent. Clay Matthews continues to impress. B.J. Raji had a tackle! The O-line kept the sack count under 5, which is a slight improvement at least. The penalties were still awful, and inexcusable, but we can't expect to fix everything overnight. Special teams didn't kill us. Suddenly, I think they can be 7-4 after the Lions game. I love completely changing my outlook on the entire season based on the outcome of one game.

-UW held on 75-46 to beat a feisty Indiana University Purdue University at Fort Wayne Mastadon team. There were like 200 people at the Kohl Center. This game counted. IPFW is a real team.

-Someone should tell Bill Belichick that he isn't playing a game of Madden '10 in that hoodie. He is coaching a real NFL game. Seriously, I would lead towards punting in Madden. That was CRAZY.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Friday, November 13, 2009

You Be The Judge

Let's play America's (Wisconsin and Minnesota) favorite game: You Be The Judge!!!

Today's case: Is Mike McCarthy a dick?

You may have heard that some maintenance dude got canned for allegedly saying to McCarthy "don't lay an egg." Some maintenance dude says he didn't say it. McCarthy denies any knowledge of why he was fired.

On one hand, whatever he said to McCarthy was probably a lot worse than "Hey coach, let's get the boys ready to kick some butt this weekend". And even if it wasn't, if I was McCarthy, I probably would have told him "I don't tell you how to clean the shitters, you don't tell me how to coach". I have a hard time believing the Packers fired him for saying that. I also have a hard time believing McCarthy made it his personal mission to get this guy who was probably making like $8/hr fired. What would be his motivation? That and, if you make $8/hr, you probably shouldn't make stupid small talk with the guy making a few million. In a corporate environment, if a janitor talks to the CEO, he probably would disappear off the face of the earth.

On the other hand, McCarthy pretty much refuses to give any detail on an encounter that he clearly remembers, which makes him look guilty as shit. Someone needs to come to his aid, with details, and quickly. The problem is that I'm sure there is some sort of confidentiality agreement that the Packers are following and average white redneck didn't understand so he is talking to every media outlet he can find. It really pisses people off when someone won't answer questions. Also, it doesn't help that McCarthy is presiding over what is looking more and more like a steaming pile of shit of a season. And we are on the heels of a horrendous loss.

MY VERDICT? Kind of a dick. But not a terrible human being. And I don't think he had anything to do with a guy being fired. The guy probably deserved to be fired. And I'm sure there is more to this story.

What say you?

Gloating, Even Though My Team Sucks

I don't subscribe to the theory that you shouldn't attack the plight of other teams. That you shouldn't take joy in the pain of other sports fans. So lets get right into today's topic:

THE BEARS STILL SUCK!
THE BEARS STILL SUCK!
THE BEARS STILL SUCK!

Man, that makes me feel good. Because no matter how shitty the Packers are playing, one can always take joy in the fact that the Bears might be an even bigger disappointment. Which really is saying something.

Jay Cutler has been a disaster. After last night he now has SEVENTEEN interceptions, compared with only 14 TDs. I'm fairly certain the 17 leads the NFL. And it wasn't like three of those were just great plays by the defense, or they were tipped. Other than when Hester fell (and it was still a poor throw) four of those were just absolutely terrible throws. They were Derek Anderson/Jamarcus Russell-esque. Didn't the Bears give up TWO first round picks for him? I love the taste of FIB tears (which tastes like a cross between a cosmo and air pollution).

So other than motherfucking Alex Smith being shitty when I finally broke down and started Vernon Davis over Antonio Gates after being burned three weeks in a row by leaving Davis's 25 points on the bench, the game was great.

Also, I enjoyed the text match between my brother and I while watching the UFL game at halftime of the NFL game. The condensed version is: a) the UFL sucks; b) there were 100 people at the game; c) Brooks Bollinger wants to kill himself; d) the sideline reporter was somehow worse than any NFL sideline reporter on earth; e) Former Packer tackle Orrin Thompson and former NFL RB Michael Pittman were both prominently involved, and both should be starting for the Packers right now; f) we tripled the UFL ratings by watching for ten minutes last night.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Watch Out For 'Skers

Armed Robbery? Pffft.

Former Nebraska running backs will KILL YOU. I'm writing this to say that it is ironic that Thunder Collins is joining Lawrence Phillips in the 'pen. I'm also writing because I hate Nebraska. But does anyone honestly think NU didn't recruit these guys knowing of their "character issues"? (i.e. killing, raping, running people over with cars while they were on a playground). The people of Nebraska should really stop pretending how proud of a program it is. Because it is Florida St. North. Or Miami North. If Florida St. and Miami players killed more people. I find it awesome that under "Also See" on the right side of the page it lists: "Ex-football player Phillips convicted of seven felonies".

All Wisconsin does is get sweet deals on shoes and drive drunk on mopeds.

Fake Gambling, Almost Real Basketball, DeMarcus Ware Just Sacked A-Rodg In the Hotel

Last Week: 6-7
Season: 56-49
All-Time: 190-175-2

SF (-3), Ten (-7), NO (-14), Mia (-10), Min (-17), NYJ (-7), Cin (+7), Den (-3.5), Car (+2), Oak (-2), SD (-3), Ari (-9), Dal (-3), Ind (-3), Bal (-11)

-I hate alot of these lines this week. It is a good thing gambling is illegal.

-College Basketball begins in earnest on Saturday. Creighton is at Dayton (who is ranked #21 in the A.P. (American Popularity) poll). Creighton is not going to suck this year. I predict they go something like 24-7 and end up on the bubble but get passed over by some shitty 18-13 team from the Big 10 (Wisconsin???). CU needs a win like this for their early resume. 12:00 p.m for those that give a shit. Right in the middle of UW destroying Michigan.

-Speaking of polls, at least in basketball they make no difference because they actually, I don't know, have a tournament where the best team wins. It is insane how that works. So really, I could care less, even though they are kind of dumb when nobody has played any games.

-By the way, UW is definitely going to get in this year even though nobody really thinks so. A) They have Bo Ryan, b) they have a history of being alot better than anyone thinks, especially when everyone thinks they are shitty.

-Brandon Jennings is making me consider watching a Bucks game. For some reason I actually was going to turn one on last night, but it was "not available in my area". Not that broken up. I turned on a 45 point UNC blowout instead. They look really good against St. Mary's Burn Center at home. Fuck UNC.

-Not getting drunk this weekend. I'm finally over my hangover from Vegas I think. Looking forward to that. I have considered trying to go to the Packer game, but I'm not sure I can muster up the energy. Plus with the Cowboys in town, ticket prices are a little inflated.

-While I'm on the subject. I doubt the Packers win Sunday. I think it will be fairly close, but I also think DeMarcus Ware has 11 sacks, and Miles Austin catches at least one TD pass longer than 50 yards. I didn't start Marion Barber III this week against the Pack's D, who has been solid against the run.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Road To The Get Together Top 32

Rank, Team, Record, Last, BCS

(1) Alabama (9-0) (2) 2
(2) Texas (9-0) (3) 3
(3) TCU (9-0) (7) 4
(4) Georgia Tech (9-1) (4) 7
(5) Florida (9-0) (5) 1
(6) Cincinnati (9-0) (6) 5
(7) Boise St (9-0) (9) 6
(8) Iowa (9-1) (1) 10
(9) USC (7-2) (11) 9
(10) Houston (8-1) (13) 15
(11) Oregon (7-2) (8) 13
(12) Ohio St (8-2) (18) 11
(13) BYU (7-2) (16) 22
(14) Utah (8-1) (14) 16
(15) LSU (7-2) (10) 8
(16) Miami (7-2) (15) 14
(17) Pitt (8-1) (17) 12
(18) Penn St (8-2) (12) 18
(19) Troy (7-2) (25) NR
(20) Oklahoma St. (7-2) (27) 19
(21) Central Michigan (7-2) (19) NR
(22) South Florida (6-2) (21) 24
(23) Virginia Tech (6-3) (29) 21
(24) Wisconsin (7-2) NR 20
(25) Temple (7-2) (28) NR
(26) Navy (7-3) NR NR
(27) Idaho (7-3) (20) NR
(28) Stanford (6-3) NR NR
(29) Fresno St. (6-3) NR NR
(30) William & Mary (8-1) (30) NR
(31) West Virginia (7-2) NR 25
(32) Nevada* (6-3) (32) NR

*= automatic bid only (i.e. wouldn't qualify without winning conference)

Calling Out Twinkie

I hear a rumor from a reliable source that Twinkie was arrested in the early morning hours on Saturday in Counciltucky, IA. I would like a blog post relating to this experience. And details about your boyfriend in the pokey. I'm waiting...

Televised Gambling

So I semi-accidentally got sucked into watching the pseudo-live final table for the World Series of Poker last night. Basically, I knew it was on, and probably wouldn't have watched it, but there was a lack of anything else on, and once I started in I was transfixed and couldn't shut it off.

I had a few problems with it:

1) I fucking HATE Phil Ivey. It dates back to 2005, Las Vegas, Spearmint Rhino. When he was too good to "let us" talk to him in the VIP area. He big timed us. He is a C or D list celebrity at best. He is essentially less famous than a reality show star, but has some skills at playing poker. 99.9% of America would not recognize him on the street. I'm not at all disputing that he is a really good poker player. But my impression of him 4 years ago is that he is a dick.

He was at the final table and took 7th. He only won $1.4 million for his troubles.

2) There were approximately 2,000 spectators, that very likely paid money to watch people play poker from 300 feet away. Poker is pretty fucking boring if you are AT the table. These people couldn't see any of the hold cards like we can at home, so they were watching people make bets only knowing half the hand. And people were going nuts. It was weird to watch.

Some cockhead 21 year old from Michigan with a large cheering contingent won. He got $.84 million dollars. For playing poker.

Monday, November 9, 2009

More B#*ching

You wanna know what pisses me off even more than the fact that our team is a mess? Try reading the comments below this ProFootballTalk.com review of the game. Are people fucking serious? What the fuck does He Who Shall Not Be Named have to do with this??!?!?!!? Jesus Fucking Christ. Get the fuck over it.

Anyone who thinks we win that game (or any game for that matter, really) with a He Who Shall Not Be Named instead of Rodgers, is a fucking idiot. Does He possess some magic ability to disappear, or levitate and fly over the top of the three defenders running free at the QB?

Could we be a little better with Him? Today, maybe. Was it worth mortgaging the next 10 to 15 years to stroke His ego? NO. So fucking get your goddamn Viking fan asses off of our fucking bandwagon you pieces of shit! And don't come back! Would we be better with 1989 Joe Montana? How about 2006 Tom Brady? Really, Really, Really fucking bothers me.

You want to blame Thompson for the questionable talent and depth on most of the roster at most positions, I'm there. But QB is NOT even close to our biggest problem. Looking forward to the $10 tickets to next week's game, since obviously there is a large contingent of morons that will be giving up thier season tickets because the guy who was the highest rated QB IN THE WHOLE FUCKING NFL, had one terrible game, and wasn't wearing a number 4. /end rant

The Wedding: A review

There is an outside chance that I have a .09 BAC right now. I haven't had a drink in approximately 34 hours. That is how much I had to drink on Saturday. As is typically the case with a function that involves anyone from the greater-Madison area, I was drunk when I woke up yesterday. My wife and I tag teamed the drive home because neither could stay awake with any real success. My liver had a cigarette while I was in the shower this morning. He is unhappy with the decisions I made. From my vague recollection, here are some of those decisions:

1) Drinking about a bottle of champagne on the bus.
2) Drinking two scotch ales at Great Dane
3) Drinking a whole bottle of wine at the reception
4) Drinking about 30 Spotted Cows
5) Drinking about 10 shots
6) Somehow navigating myself across Hwy 151 (6 lanes) after the reception in efforts to find a bar to close.
7) Giving up when Richard was clearly incapable of reading the GPS on his iPhone (somehow I recall it telling us we were "inside a bar" when clearly we were not), and going to Denny's instead.
8) Eating a "Grandslamwich" at Denny's
9) All sorts of other drunken asshattery that I don't remember.

Yesterday was the longest day of my life. Great time at the wedding. Seriously, nobody is allowed to get married for like 2 more years so I can recover. I'm never drinking again. I'm going to go puke now.

The End?

I was actually going to try to get some work done this morning, but I am fighting hangover day 2 (more on that later), and I just got angry about the Packers after some conversations with co-workers, so I've got to get it off my chest.

Thankfully, I was in such rough shape yesterday during the game that I had a hard time mustering up the energy to get angry. I was just trying to stay alive.

PROBLEM: The special teams is an abortion. We cannot go on like this any longer. How many more times are we going to give the other team the ball at the Packers 30 yard line? Can we figure something else out here? I'm to the point where I would advocate just kicking it directly out of bounds and giving the other team the ball at the 40, because it would save us 30 yards of field position. And is it really that hard to TOUCH someone coming right up the middle on a punt? That was inexcusable. If a guy comes on the outside, so be it. So fucking frustrating.

ANSWER: I've really got none. We supposedly kept 14 FBs so they could play special teams. We also grossly overpaid Jarrett Bush because he was allegedly our best special teams player. But obviously whatever or whoever is supposed to be covering can't do it. Special teams has been a comedy of errors all year. Blocking and tackling would be a start.

PROBLEM: The O-line. I guess Tauscher was the answer to the problems that plagued us. Through my near death experience, I'm pretty sure Rodgers didn't get touched when Tauscher was in there. Then Tauscher "re-injured his knee" even though I never saw him get hurt. (Maybe it was walking to the locker room?). And Barbre played bull fighter again and Rodger got sacked 6 times. I mean, the O-line is historically bad. 37 sacks in 8 games. The all-time Packer record is 61. Rodgers is going to die.

ANSWER: Attach a healthy knee to Tauscher? Get someone off the street to replace Barbre? I mean, it was like the Bucs got replaced by the '85 Bears at halftime. I'm sure we don't have anyone better than Barbre, but could anyone be any WORSE?

PROBLEM: Penalties. They are bordering on insane.

ANSWER: Don't commit penalties. I've got nothing.

PROBLEM: Lack of pressure on the opposing QB.

ANSWER: I don't think we have the personnel that is capable of blitzing. We NEVER don't get blocked. Maybe the solution is not to blitz? It is a damned if you do, damned if you don't thing. Our linebackers are not good in coverage either. And the d-line can't get any pressure.

PROBLEM: Rodgers taking too many sacks.

ANSWER: I don't think there is a solution here either. He holds it because he's trying to make a play. He's just wired that way, just as He Who Shall Not Be Named was wire to throw it into triple coverage. I think Rodgers needs to take off an run more.

IN SUMMARY: We are fucked. Could we finish 4-12? Probably not, because we play the Lions. But I would say it is alot more likely than 12-4. Realistically, we should be favored against Detroit, Seattle and San Fran the rest of the year. I don't see any way we beat Dallas, Pittsburgh, Baltimore, Arizona or Chicago. The chances of the playoffs are not good at all. I don't see much of a silver lining to losing to a bad 0-7 team with a rookie QB making his first NFL start.

And say we do go 7-9. What happens then? What happens when a team with Super Bowl expectations (albeit maybe overhyped) finishes third in their division and below .500? Heads have to roll, and I am sick of the same shit. Who goes? I predict McCarthy probably does, because the GM always gets two coaches. But the startling lack of playmakers and depth is making me doubt the TT way. In theory, I like his philosophy. But if it doesn't work, and I'm not sure it is, at what point do we have to give up? When do his failures outweigh the positives (and certainly there are some) to the point that we have to start over?

I'm sure things aren't as bad as they feel, and I'm overreacting to an awful performance. But is 4-4, with the schedule they have played, any reason to celebrate? I think not.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Crew swaps Hardy for Chuck Gomez

Wow, so apparently we won't be trading JJ Hardy for pitching, we'll be swapping him for salary relief. Hardy was just traded, straight up for Carlos Gomez of the Twins.

With this move, we get rid of Hardy's 4.56 million and will more than likely(read 99.9%) not re sign Cameron who would be due to make around 10 million. Gomez makes around a half million so we're basically dropping 14 million dollars in our salary for this year, I'm assuming that means we'll be adding an arm through free agency.

Big big early move, I am a bit amazed, not sure how to react to this. Our overall team speed just increased by about 37%

C-c-c-c-c-c-CAT FIGHT!!

I mean WOW. Anyone think soccer is still for "lawn fairies"? If that chick isn't suspended for life, then I don't even know what to say. I've watched this roughly 1,000 times and still love it.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Preview of Schmock's Funeral and Fake Gambling Advice

First, the picks:

Last week plus Vegas: 9-7
Season: 50-42
All-Time: 184-168-2

Atl (-10), GB (-9.5), Mia (+10.5), Jax (-6.5), Hou (+9), Cin (+3), Ari (+3), NO (-13.5), Sea (-10), NYG (-4.5), SF (-4), Phi (-3), Den (+3)

THE DEATH OF A FRIEND:

If not at the wedding this weekend, please pour some out for our fallen comrade. This is nothing personal against his fiance, who is a lovely woman, but it just is what it is.

I'll be heading off to the various Madison suburbs around noon on Friday so that I can learn how to show people where to sit, eat some free food, and sleep in a strange bed. I hope someone besides me is staying the hotel Friday night so I have an excuse to be hung over for the wedding. My guess is going to be not, since everyone else in the wedding either lives near Madison, or has a free room at their parent's house somewhere.

Regardless of Friday, I am going to get fucking shitfaced on Saturday. And that is a promise. Not that it should be any real surprise. My prediction is that the highlight will be Richard passed out with his head between the elevator doors, and it constantly trying to shut on it, but reopening each time it hits his head. Going to be great. Also, if this hotel is the one I think it is, I believe it is within walking distance of Margaritaville, which is going to sound like a fantastic plan at midnight when the wedding is done. I look forward to vomiting tequila. (ED. NOTE: Wrong hotel. No Margaritaville. My mistake. I will have to settle for vomiting beer.)

BADGERS

Schmock was selfish enough to schedule his wedding on a Badger game day, but good enough to schedule it on a game when the Badgers played Indiana, which may or may not be a real team. Badgers 41, Hoosiers 10.

PACKERS

Same thing. It is going to be a "game time decision" on whether I go dark until I get home and watch the game on TV, or listen to Wayne Larivee on the radio. I suppose it is possible we would be home by noon, but obviously that is no guarantee. In other news, if the Packers don't win Sunday, I think it would be safe to say that a deposit on playoff tickets won't be necessary. The Bucs are fucking 1979 terrible. Something named Josh Freeman will be making his first NFL start. Packers 41, Bucs 10.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Stream of Consciousness

Soda Review: Diet Mountain Dew Ultra Violet.

I started drinking diet soda when I went on my diet awhile back. I still don't love diet soda, but it has caffeine, so I get over it. However, Diet Mountain Dew Ultra Violet is made of some crack-like substance that makes it taste fucking fantastic. My office randomly bought a 12-pack (employee benefits! It totally makes up for making half of what I'm worth in the open (non-recessed) market!). As a bonus, if you pour it in a glass it looks like you are drinking "Sizzurp" or "Purple Drank". (one of the more in-depth Wikipedia entries ever, and since it is on Wikipedia, it has to be true!) Keep Johnny Jolly clear! In fact, if I was in my younger days, and Purple Drank had been invented, I would have dumped out the Ultra Violet, replaced it with Purple Drank, and went to a school dance!

In conclusion, this shit is great, and will be taken off the market because I'm the only one that ever consumed it.

Viqueen Fans Suck

I mean seriously. Why are you even in the league anymore? I can't wait until we play the L.A. Vikings twice a year. You don't deserve a team. Also, enjoy those jerseys that will be obsolete next year. You are an embarrassment.

Random Bullet Points

- I watched about 4 minutes of the Bucks/Bulls last night. Shut it off with the Bucks up 16. They lost. I like Brandon Jennings.

-Go Phillies tonight. I like Pedro alot. Can never get enough of the "Who is Karim Garcia?" audio.

-Beer Review: New Glarus Yokel. Meh. It could've been Lienie's Original or some other swill. I wasn't real impressed. It wasn't gross, but I wouldn't rush out and get one. Definitely at least a notch below Organic Revolution.

-Badger Game Impression: A lot of my opinion probably has to do with the three following truths: 1) The game sucked. It was excitingfor about 10 minutes. College games tend to get out of hand quickly. And the crowd was pretty quiet because the game was over early. 2) I don't know what the cool thing to do before a Badger game is, so we sort of just wandered around and had like 2 drinks. 3) It was fucking cold.

Overall, I would definitely go back, but I think I want to go with someone that knows what they are doing. I also would want to stay down there and get all fucked up. The price was right (we paid $40 for two tickets in the lower section on about the goal line). I will hold off judgment until I get a chance to "do it right", but at this point, Lambeau has a lot more to offer me.

-I nearly convinced my wife to stay in Madison to watch the hockey game that night, but couldn't quite pull it off.

-Nice to be able to watch SportsCenter again. Thank (SportsBottle's) god for the 48 hour news cycle.

-Starting to get geared up for Schmock's wedding Saturday.

-Creighton opens up their exhibition schedule tonight against something called Missouri Western State. I might check it out. I miss T. Scott. I think UW plays tonight too, but those fascists want you to pay for the audio online, and I'm not listening on a clock radio. Maybe it will be on the BigTen Network? I'll have to check it out. College basketball rules. I would totally set the T-3000 up to do a ranking if there weren't 7,000 teams. As always, look for the non-biased rankings at the Basketball State.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Road To The Get Together Top 32: Week 9

I know what you guys are thinking. The T-3000 must be broken. There is no fucking way Iowa is better than Alabama. They almost lost to Indiana. You are probably right. But, the T-3000 doesn't consider style points. If it did, then every time Florida beat a I-AA team by 60, they would automatically be number one. But this is a dream world, and NOT reality. Reality, as you all know full well, bites. The BCS has already decided (with 3, 4 or 5 games left) that if Florida/Alabama and Texas win out, they are going to play for the championship. THAT my friends, is fucking bullshit. Juice's Dream NCAA Division I Football Get Together presented by K.Y. is going to be epic.

One interesting note, the T-3000 has had a few I-AA teams floating around the bottom of the rankings this year due to wins over division I teams earlier in the season. And you know what? Richmond got a vote in the AP this week. I'm just sayin' it isn't all that retarded.

Rank,Team, Record, Last, BCS
(1) Iowa (9-0) (2) 4
(2) Alabama (8-0) (1) 3
(3) Texas (8-0) (6) 2
(4) Georgia Tech (8-1) (4) 10
(5) Florida (8-0) (5) 1
(6) Cincinnati (8-0) (8) 5
(7) TCU (8-0) (3) 6
(8) Oregon (7-1) (10) 8
(9) Boise St (8-0) (7) 7
(10) LSU (7-1) (12) 9
(11) USC (6-2) (9) 12
(12) Penn St (8-1) (19) 11
(13) Houston (7-1) (15) 15
(14) Utah (7-1) (16) 14
(15) Miami (6-2) (22) 17
(16) BYU (6-2) (13) NR
(17) Pitt (7-1) (14) 13
(18) Ohio St (7-2) (20) 16
(19) Central Michigan (7-2) (11) NR
(20) Idaho (7-2) (21) NR
(21) South Florida (6-2) (26) 25
(22) Richmond (8-0) (23) NR
(23) Cal (6-2) (30) 20
(24) Notre Dame (6-2) (29) 22
(25) Troy (6-2) (28) NR
(26) South Carolina (6-3) (17) NR
(27) Oklahoma St. (6-2) (24) 19
(28) Temple (6-2) NR NR
(29) Virginia Tech (5-3) (18) 23
(30) William & Mary (7-1) NR NR
(31) East Carolina* (5-3) NR NR
(32) Nevada* (5-3) (32) NR

*= projected autobids

I thought this was kind of funny

I was digging around in webmaster tools and found a list of words most commonly used when googlebot crawls our website

Here's the top 10:

1. sports
2. shit
3. sucks
4. people
5. new
6. fuck
7. college
8. nfl
9. shitty
10. baseball

Pretty much sums up the last year and a half of Packers/Brewers sports

Monday, November 2, 2009

Brings a Tear to My Eye

This is one of the better posts I've ever read that wasn't written by me. I might print this out and pass it out in my office.

It Must Be NBA Season...

...Because Michael Redd is down with an injury again. Thanks Michael for completely fucking the Bucks plan to get out from under your contract by getting hurt BEFORE we could ship you off for 15 cents on the dollar and a bunch of expiring contracts.

Sigh

At some point, don't we have to start questioning Mike McCarthy? The coaching in the first half was absolutely horrible. The second half was much better, save for the two gigantic abortions which I will discuss later. I hate complaining about coaching, and I'm quite certain I haven't had a real complaint about McCarthy since he's been here. But yesterday was glaring ineptitude.



Let me start out by saying that I think the Queens are better than us. I'm not sure that can be disputed. I don't think they are alot better, but they are good enough that we can't have 7,000 mental errors and reasonably expect to beat them.



-The playcalling in the first half was inexcusable. We can't block anyone. So clearly, the obvious decision is to throw nothing but 5 and 7 step drops. Then, after 5 sacks or so (regardless of whose fault) we should not adjust at all and stick to our plan of running nothing but 25 yard routes. It was ridiculous. The second half proved that short, quick passes will work. And they ALWAYS work. And we REFUSE to do it.



-Ryan Grant. I dislike me some Ryan Grant. He has no vision whatsoever. Yet McCarthy REFUSES to give anyone else an opportunity to carry the ball. I don't think we were running the ball much against the Viqueens no matter who it was, but didn't it seem that Ahman Green ran with a little more purpose? Why does he steadfastly refuse to give anyone other than Grant more than two carries, both of which are draw plays on 3rd and 16??



-Kickoff returns. We have NOBODY faster than Ahman Green to return kicks? By using him, you are basically saying "We will just take it at the 25, thanks." No CB? No WR? Nobody can return kicks but Ahman Green? Baffling.



-Kickoff Coverage. I get not wanting kick away from Harvin initially. But after two straight backbreaking returns, McCarthy finally decided to squib. Again, sort of out of necessity because we couldn't even get a hand on him. Then, after that was successful twice. He inexplicably kicks it deep and gets burned AGAIN? What the fuck?



-Mason Crosby is not capable of kicking a 50 yarder. The fact that he is like 0 for the season, should tell you that. It made no sense to throw a 40 yard pass on 3rd and 8, and then settle for a FG.



-Defensive scheme. Pretty much dominated the 3rd quarter. I think we had a bit of misfortune in the 4th. Poor field position killed us in most cases. But other than 2 possessions, we got NO pressure on He Who Shall Not Be Named at all. Maybe the Viqueens o-line is that good? Or maybe our talent sucks? Alot of what I think happened is that the Queens did what the Pack should have and ran a ton of short routes. Even if we could get through, we wouldn't have had time to get to Him. But even on deep drops, he generally had all day. And I saw Kampan stumbling around in coverage most than once.



-Penalties. Jesus fucking tap dancing Christ that is frustrating. Fucking headbutts, fucking holdings, fucking shit. Every fucking week. Is there ANY fucking accountability? I realize that maybe the players are dipshits, but you can't fire 53 players.



OTHER STUFF



I actually have to commend Thom Brenneman and Troy Aikman. They were actually pretty restrained in their effusive praise of He Who Shall Not Be Named. By far the best announcing team there has been for one of His games. It was obviously a big story, and they gave it the proper amount of attention. But they actually seemed interested in the fact that the Packers were playing.



G-Force did me proud. Two consecutive quarters of boos, plus a nice one at the end. I enjoyed it thoroughly. Anyone who says it was anything but a strong boo is a moron. Also, anyone who wasn't booing should get the fuck out. I don't want to hear from you two months from now when the Pack is in the playoffs. That includes the dipshits at the end of the game with the Packer garb on and the "We love (He Who Shall Not Be Named)" and "We want (He Who Shall Not Named Back)". Congrats folks, you fucking have him, because you are a Viking fan. Fuck. You.

Lets take a quick look at the wild card race since the division is gone barring a 2008 He Who Shall Not Be Named-type meltdown:
Philly 5-2
Dallas 5-2
NYG 5-3
Atlanta 4-2
GB 4-3
Chi 4-3
Ari 4-3
SF 3-4
Car 3-4

Two of those will win their divisions. I think NO and Min pretty much have theirs wrapped up. We play Dallas, Chicago, Arizona and San Francisco yet. 2 at home. We probably need to win all of them. I don't love our position right now, but there is a long, long way to go.

Can't wait to avoid all forms of sports media for the next two to three days. Watched a Taylor Swift video with my breakfast this morning instead of SportsCenter. Listened to Rise Against instead of sports talk.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Bear's Miller Lite Keys to the Game

As I sit here, reveling in my extra hour of sleep from the night before, I am contemplating taking a shower before I head down to the bar to watch the festivities of the day. My anger flares as I watch some assclown fullback from the Eagles run for a 40 yard touchdown instead of LeSean McCoy, who I chose to start in my flex spot in Juice's league. One thing has been really irking me though. The passing, quick overview analysis of sports writers.

This guy says the Packers D looked terrible in the first game(I won't argue that) and he doesn't see that changing just because of home field advantage. Orrrr how about the fact that we have Atari Bigby back now? Having Bigby in there allows him and Collins to play safety as a unit so I don't have to watch Berrian streak down the sideline, have Al Harris turn around and see his safety playing zone over the middle of the field instead of giving help over the top. Along with that we've also gotten Clay Matthews in on more snaps and we've pretty much given up on Kampman being a linebacker/potential coverage guy in this scheme.

Then I have ESPN's Kevin Seifert talking about our offensive line as though Clifton and Tauscher are our best options at tackle right now. Really? Maybe 3 years ago... How about the offensive line that just got done giving up ZERO sacks to the Cleveland Browns? I know I know, it's the Browns and they're terrible, but stick with me for a minute, we just gave up 5 sacks to the Lions the week before that. The Cleveland Browns defensive line isn't nearly as terrible as the rest of the team, I like TJ Lang and I like Allen Barbre and the way this offensive line is currently set up.

There were many other writers I could have used for these examples, they've all been spewing the same gibberish, they get paid to analyze football but all the regurgitate is whatever the people expect to hear. No research, no watching games, ESPN sucks.

Ok! My keys to the game! I've got a couple pretty strong ones and then one random rant/crazy key.

First of all, we absolutely cannot allow the Vikings wide receivers to do what they did in the first game. It was completely unacceptable for their wide outs to just turn on go routes and score touchdowns. Or for them to do medium depth slant routes and have Kampman running around in circles deciding whether or not he should cover or blitz(the answer there is blitz). It was abysmal and embarrassing.

Secondly, I think we really need to run at Jared Allen. He's obsessed with rushing the passer, we all saw what he did the first game. He's barely even considering that a running play would come to him, if we could run some delay hand offs or counter moves to his side of the line, I think we could really catch him way too far upfield. Run some screens to his side, anything to get him thinking about something other than just running as fast as he can towards Rodgers. If we keep him guessing for a split second and give Lang a chance to get a half step on Allen I think it would greatly improve Lang's chances of success in keeping him away from our QB.

And my last rant/crazy thought process. I say we focus on the Vikings running game the same way we focus on any other team. Treat Adrian Peterson like he's nothing special. Why? Even when you shut him down for 53 yards on 25 carries, it's still Adrian Peterson and he's still a threat to bust out a 50 yard run on any carry. Knowing this the Vikings will still hand the ball off to him whenever they want because he's that big of a threat. So focusing in on Adrian Peterson will never actually shut down the Vikings running game, because to shut it down would mean that at some point in the game they will stop going to ADP, that will never happen. We need to shut down Brett Favre because himself and the Vikings are completely infatuated with making Brett Favre's stats better. We've got to stop that.

Huge game, huge week, huge turning point for the season