Since I'm an underachieving public servant, I thought I would copy Juice and do a little Twins preview, since I know how much the other 2 people that read this blog love the Twins!
Frankie Liriano - Noah Lowry - former pitcher of 2002-07 Giants - a short career - just like Liriano's when his elbow explodes after a slider (again) this year
Carl Pavano - Cy Young...just kidding. Jon Liber and Tim Wakefield. As the old saying goes...it could be worse. Never a good sign when you think of your number 2 and shrug your shoulder and go "he's not terrible".
Brian Duensing - Hideki Okajima - Never trust a former Nebraska Cornhusker...or the Japanese.
Kevin Slowey - Phil Hughes - well then, I'd say the Yankees get a little more hype...
Nick Blackburn - Journeyman Paul Mitchell (ended career with Brewers - the Brewers have been known to make alot of people hang it up) - Also this, the Twins have an $8 million option for Blackburn for 2014. I wouldn't count your money just yet Nick.
Matt Capps - Fernando Valenzuela - Ok, I just made that up because because they are both fat.
Joe Nathan - K - Rod - YES! Finanly something positive. Until you remember that Nathan is coming off of Tommy John's surgery. Soon they will rename it "Fransisco Liriano surgery."
Position Players
Joseph Patrick Mauer - Victor Martinez or Mickey Cochrane (through age 27). Since Mickey Mantle was named after Mickey Cochrane, this has to be a positive. Even if Mauer just had a few more shots in his knee and it is only February.
Justin Morneau - Travis Hafner or David Ortiz and Mo fucking Vaughn! (thru age 29) - And also, it's entirely possible he may not play a game this year. Also on the list, Kent Hrbeck who now weighs about 450 lbs.
Tsuyoshi Nishioka - Imagine that. Baseball reference doesn't have any comparisions. What a bunch of racists. I'm gonna go with the Japanese manager from "Mr. Baseball".
Danny Valencia - Another starter with no comparisons available. Also, he is going to be good, once he gets out of high school. One more note, I think "Dan" would have been alot better choice than "Danny".
Alexi Casilla - I can't make this shit up. He's been with the team for at least 5 years and I couldn't remember his fucking name off the top of my head. I just know him as the guy with the big gap in his teeth. Al Kozar of the 1941 Washington Senators. Yeah, that's right.
Michael Cuddyer - My favorite Twin. A real workhorse and he compares to... Milton Bradley. Fuck, that was depressing. I guess I could see "Cuddy" going psycho and having mental issues after having to cover for Morneau another season at 1st base and wasting one of the best outfield arms in the majors.
Delmon Young - Carl Yastremski! Well then, didn't see that coming either. Guess that means he will no doubt win the Triple Crown. Also, is Young not the oldest looking 25 year old out there? I predict a Danny Almonte moment in the near future.
Denard Span - Algie McBride of the 1898 Cincinnati Reds. That means Span HAS to be good.
James Howard Thome - I expected Babe Ruth, but Frank Thomas or Sammy Sosa. Not gonna rip Thome at all. Still can't believe he re-signed for $3 million. Even if he only makes it through May, his presence and big schlong in the clubhouse will be worth it.
That was actually very depressing. GO TWINS!
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
T-Minus 37 Days Until Beer Thirty
37 days until the Brewers start their march towards their inevitable World Championship (It is happening. Don't argue). I'm in my spot where every year I'm a little depressed about the NFL being done, I'm not at all excited about the NBA, and College Basketball is a few weeks away from turning into an obsession. Plus, baseball is the perfect sport to scoreboard watch while you are doing taxes on a Thursday afternoon. I'm fairly certain that the afternoon early April Brewer games have prevented me from killing myself with a industrial strength stapler at least a dozen times.
Anyways, the Crew looks to be pretty solid. I want to play the game that I do every year where I check out the team on Baseball Reference and see if they are good or not based upon historical comparisons. This will mean nothing in the long run, but I'm bored. I'm going to take the most interesting name from the list of comparables at their age. And I'm not going to hyperlink all of these, because that will take a long time and I'm lazy.
Starting Staff:
Zach Greinke: Ben Sheets (!) Let's hope that the comparisons end here...
Yovani Gallardo: Kerry Wood. Ugh, seriously. Rich Harden is also on the list.
Shaun Marcum: Chris Young. Which is not at all interesting.
Randy Wolf: A.J. Burnett. So he's an overachieving dick I guess.
Chris Narveson: Nobody 've ever heard of. So I will go with Hal Brown of the 1952 Chicago White Sox just because.
Bullpen:
Manny Parra: Jorge de la Rosa. Which means he will go on to have 200 Ks for some other team next year.
Kameron Loe: Roy Face from the 1955 Pittsburgh Pirates. Just because. I think his dad's name was Richard.
Takashi Saito: Brian Shouse. Seriously? I thought this guy was supposed to be good?
Zack Braddock: Legitimately NO comparison. I think this means he will end up moving into the rotation and winning 400 games.
LaTroy Hawkins: David Weathers. Nuff said.
Sean Green: I have no idea if he will make the team. But I've heard that his contract gives him a head start: Scott Proctor.
Mike McClendon: Ditto. No comparisons, but his middle name is Melton, which is awesome.
John Axford: Also no comparison. So he's what happens when Rollie Fingers and Mariano Rivera make love.
Position Players:
Prince Fielder: Darryl Strawberry. When he leaves, I hope his career ends up the same. For now, I would settle for 35 HRs and 125 RBIs. I feel like a year ago this was Babe Ruth or Lou Gerhig or something insane.
Rickie Weeks: J.J. Hardy. I'm not making that up.
Yuniesky Betancourt: Dick Groat from the 1959 Pittsburgh Pirates. Dude won an MVP at age 29 (Yuni is 28). I've still heard he blows.
Casey McGehee: Corey Koskie. I'm just picking out former Brewers and funny names now.
Ryan Braun: Manny Ramiarez. I'll take it. Less the crazy.
Carlos Gomez: Roland Office from the 1977 Atlanta Braves. In other words? Terrible.
Corey Hart: Kirk Gibson. That is pretty interesting. And Kirk Gibson wasn't that good, but still.
Jonathan Lucroy: No comparisons. Johnny Bench crossed with Pudge Rodriguez.
George Kottaras: No comparisons. A homeless man's Mike Soscia.
Craig Counsell: Hall of Fame (Manager) Leo Durocher. Also, himself. He's played so long that he is who he is. Can't wait to see his one homer this season juuuust over the wall in right.
Chris Dickerson: No comparisons. I'll go with Tim Raines just because.
Mark Kotsay: Al Cowens from the 1985 Seattle Mariners. Not Al Cowlings (I'm A.C. dammit!). Not NBA Hall of Famer Dave Cowens. But fucking Al Cowens. We totally needed to sign him.
CONCLUSION
That took way too long and stressed me the fuck out. I guess a rotation of still good Ben Sheets, uninjured and starting Kerry Wood, not shitty A.J. Burnett wouldn't be terrible. I shouldn't have done this. I'm still excited to get drunk at Miller Park. Enjoy your week.
Anyways, the Crew looks to be pretty solid. I want to play the game that I do every year where I check out the team on Baseball Reference and see if they are good or not based upon historical comparisons. This will mean nothing in the long run, but I'm bored. I'm going to take the most interesting name from the list of comparables at their age. And I'm not going to hyperlink all of these, because that will take a long time and I'm lazy.
Starting Staff:
Zach Greinke: Ben Sheets (!) Let's hope that the comparisons end here...
Yovani Gallardo: Kerry Wood. Ugh, seriously. Rich Harden is also on the list.
Shaun Marcum: Chris Young. Which is not at all interesting.
Randy Wolf: A.J. Burnett. So he's an overachieving dick I guess.
Chris Narveson: Nobody 've ever heard of. So I will go with Hal Brown of the 1952 Chicago White Sox just because.
Bullpen:
Manny Parra: Jorge de la Rosa. Which means he will go on to have 200 Ks for some other team next year.
Kameron Loe: Roy Face from the 1955 Pittsburgh Pirates. Just because. I think his dad's name was Richard.
Takashi Saito: Brian Shouse. Seriously? I thought this guy was supposed to be good?
Zack Braddock: Legitimately NO comparison. I think this means he will end up moving into the rotation and winning 400 games.
LaTroy Hawkins: David Weathers. Nuff said.
Sean Green: I have no idea if he will make the team. But I've heard that his contract gives him a head start: Scott Proctor.
Mike McClendon: Ditto. No comparisons, but his middle name is Melton, which is awesome.
John Axford: Also no comparison. So he's what happens when Rollie Fingers and Mariano Rivera make love.
Position Players:
Prince Fielder: Darryl Strawberry. When he leaves, I hope his career ends up the same. For now, I would settle for 35 HRs and 125 RBIs. I feel like a year ago this was Babe Ruth or Lou Gerhig or something insane.
Rickie Weeks: J.J. Hardy. I'm not making that up.
Yuniesky Betancourt: Dick Groat from the 1959 Pittsburgh Pirates. Dude won an MVP at age 29 (Yuni is 28). I've still heard he blows.
Casey McGehee: Corey Koskie. I'm just picking out former Brewers and funny names now.
Ryan Braun: Manny Ramiarez. I'll take it. Less the crazy.
Carlos Gomez: Roland Office from the 1977 Atlanta Braves. In other words? Terrible.
Corey Hart: Kirk Gibson. That is pretty interesting. And Kirk Gibson wasn't that good, but still.
Jonathan Lucroy: No comparisons. Johnny Bench crossed with Pudge Rodriguez.
George Kottaras: No comparisons. A homeless man's Mike Soscia.
Craig Counsell: Hall of Fame (Manager) Leo Durocher. Also, himself. He's played so long that he is who he is. Can't wait to see his one homer this season juuuust over the wall in right.
Chris Dickerson: No comparisons. I'll go with Tim Raines just because.
Mark Kotsay: Al Cowens from the 1985 Seattle Mariners. Not Al Cowlings (I'm A.C. dammit!). Not NBA Hall of Famer Dave Cowens. But fucking Al Cowens. We totally needed to sign him.
CONCLUSION
That took way too long and stressed me the fuck out. I guess a rotation of still good Ben Sheets, uninjured and starting Kerry Wood, not shitty A.J. Burnett wouldn't be terrible. I shouldn't have done this. I'm still excited to get drunk at Miller Park. Enjoy your week.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Picking Scabs
It is my feeling that the possibility of an NFL lockout affects the city of Green Bay, the State of Wisconsin and fans of the Green Bay Packers more than any other entities on the planet. The Packers are the reason that Green Bay exists in the minds of people around the world. Without the Packers, Green Bay would be nothing but a polluted river and love handles. So yeah, if the NFL stops playing for even one week, it is going to have a major impact on the area. In addition, although the Packers are seemingly conservative with their cash, and have planned ahead for this type of work stoppage, I have to think that not having a ridiculously rich owner with alternate sources of income would eventually harm the Packers more than many other franchises.
The following is my opinion of the whole situation. Although I'm confident I could read the entire CBA without falling asleep, and understand what it says, I'm not a labor attorney. I'm not versed on what happens when there is a lockout, or a strike or the rules in place when unions are involved, etc. I'm just a simple caveman, who enjoys watching 12 to 15 hours of NFL football for 20 or so weeks a year, and is confused by the "technology" and "rules" of your complicated society.
I just want to watch people dressed up in a Green Bay Packer uniform, and I don't give a fuck how this happens. This was a lot easier argument to make in my brain about a month ago, before I got seriously attached for the rest of my life to the group of men who won "us" a 13th World Championship, and before the Championship Belt celebration became a worldwide phenomenon. This is obviously NOT my ideal solution to this issue. My ideal solution would be for them to figure this shit out like yesterday so my Packers can move onto their second, third and fourth straight titles without interruption.
But let us assume that these idiots rape the golden goose and we get to September with no agreement. I just want there to be football games. And I don't really want to have to watch the Omaha Nighthawks (as awesome as that is). I want to watch the Green Bay Packers, and I don't care who is wearing the uniforms. Anyone is better than no one. I don't care if we take the UW-La Crosse Eagles and suit them up as the Packers against some Bears impostors. At the end of the day, if Brett Favre has proven anything, its that I'm a fan of the Green Bay Packers above all else, and the men who are lucky enough to wear the uniform are secondary. These men come and go, often far too quickly, but the Packers franchise continues, and will continue forever.
So if the real players don't want to play, or the owners don't want to let them play, as far as I'm concerned, the league can go on without them. I will root for the Green Bay Packers if ownership decides to put a team on the field. So I guess by default I'm siding with the owners in this bullshit squabble.
Monday, February 14, 2011
17 Days to Armageddon
I spent a lot of time thinking about how I was going to cover the NFL labor situation. Such a broad topic (and such a horrific mess) would probably take about 80,000 words and 10 columns just to scratch the surface. Even if I took the time to go through it all, you'd be asleep after 10 paragraphs.
80,000 words don't help anybody, and giving labor law advice is what I do for "work," so it's not a whole lot of fun for me to spend the hour a week I devote to this site writing about work.
Instead of analyzing the issues I'm going to cover some of the misconceptions that persist about the NFL Labor dispute. If you are interested in researching the issues beyond what is in this article, I'd like to bless Andrew Brandt's eight part series on the subject.
Brandt's series is well-written, contains a perspective on both sides of the issues, and will tell you everything you need to know about the likely outcome of this nasty mess without me giving you a course in labor law.
On to the misconceptions:
1) "The owners stormed out of negotiations last week. They don't want a deal to get done."
The owners want to get a deal done as soon as possible. They know their business is going to take the heat for any lost games, and they also know that the public tends to side with the players since: a) the public is personally attached to the players; b) there are a lot of players preaching uninformed nonsense on twitter; and c) people seem to think the players are accurately informed by the NFLPA. Accordingly, it behooves the owners to get a deal done as soon as possible.
The cancellation of negotiations last week was purely strategic. The talks were going nowhere and the owners needed to position themselves to file an Unfair Labor Practice charge ("ULP") against the union. By doing so the league is charging the union with a refusal to bargain. Its reason for this is threefold:
First, the league would like to force the union to have meaningful negotiations. Lawyers cost a lot of money, and it doesn't make sense to fly people in to sit at a table (at $500 per hour) where one party is being unreasonable. Some pressure had to be applied to force the union to engage in meaningful negotiations. In order to do so, the league had to seek the intervention of an administrative body.
Second, the union can attempt (and has threatened) to "decertify" itself. If the NFLPA does this the league would be able to implement its own rules absent a collective bargaining agreement (they would continue with the structure that was in place in 2010). However, the union would then file an antitrust lawsuit claiming that the owners were acting in concert to restrain trade in violation of the federal antitrust laws. A refusal to bargain ULP is the first step in a league attempt to block decertification.
Finally, if the two sides reach impasse (a total block in negotiations), the league can unilaterally implement its last, best, and final offer. Obviously the NFLPA doesn't want this to happen because another year under the 2010 rules will be seen as a victory for the league, and the players will be more than a little unhappy. However, under this scenario the situation would be temporarily resolved until the players strike on March 3, 2012.
Although declaring impasse and delaying things for a year sounds easy, it is very difficult to prove that two sides are actually at "impasse," and thus, striking a deal before the regular season is a more likely outcome. But until meaningful negotiations are exhausted, impasse (or a deal) can't occur. So the NFL needs intervention to force the sides to continue talking. They can only do this by walking away from a table where nothing is progressing.
In sum, the cancellation of last week's negotiations was only to facilitate things moving along more quickly via the filing of a ULP against the union (who are the real ones trying to stall things).
1a) "But why would the union want to stall things?"
The union wants to stall things because if a deal isn't done by March 3 there will be a lockout, for which the owners will squarely be blamed. The NFLPA knows there is significant leverage to be gained in a lockout, and this is what they really want (even though they will never say it).
2) "Why can't the two sides just get a deal done?"
Reaching a deal in a heated labor negotiation almost never happens until the absolute eleventh hour. I can't tell you how many times in my career a strike or lockout has been imminent and the parties settled the dispute at the very last possible moment. It just seems to be the way these things are done in the legal profession.
3) "We should support the players because they are running a #letusplay campaign on Twitter."
Although it's great to support your favorite player, remember that he may not be the high-character guy you think he is. Which is fine. How often do you go to work not looking to get the best possible deal for yourself? Football is a business, just like a grocery store, paper mill, law firm, or hospital. Both sides need to work out a compromise that is favorable to all parties, and can't just strike a deal to strike a deal.
What people don't understand is that the players themselves are left in the dark about what is going on behind closed doors in union negotiations. They have "player representatives" (union stewards) that learn a little and can deliver union-prepared speeches, but for the most part labor negotiations are conducted by a bunch of lawyers in a room racking up billable hours.
The players can "want to play"all they want, but they don't have that choice (at least not individually). If they really want to get on the field, what the players should be doing is putting pressure on the NFLPA to make some concessions to the owners. However, that's highly unlikely given their level of knowledge about how this process actually works.
4) "I support the NFLPA because the owners are greedy and I'd never agree to a pay cut."
"Greed is good." - Gordon Gecko, 1988.
The owners are greedy, they are businessmen. This isn't a bad thing. By putting the best product on the field, the owners make more money. Interesting concept huh?
Why would you ever invest hundreds of millions of dollars in something that won't provide you with a return? Is it because you love football that much? Come on.
The NFL is a multi-billion dollar business and under no circumstances will the [veteran] players be taking a pay cut. That was never threatened and is wholly unrealistic. Instead, rookies like 2007's JaMarcus Russell (may his career rest in peace) are going to be sacrificed and will wind up being paid on a scale like rookies in the NBA.
Everyone agrees that rookies will be taking the hit. Anything you hear about players taking a pay cut is just lip service by the NFLPA. This was never threatened, and would never be realistic.
5) "The owners need to open their books. It would facilitate a deal."
This is as unethical a request as it is unrealistic. The players have no right to examine their employer's financial records. The process is called "collective bargaining." What exactly are the players offering to give up in order to examine the private financial business records of their employer? Open books are not something that happens even in the worst economic times.
Although you may be able to find situations where an employer has opened its books to its employees, it is likely in a situation where they have filed for bankruptcy or have some incentive to do so. Proving that there is less profit than the players claim there is is not a legitimate reason to open private financial records. The risk for exposure is far too great.
Again, this will never (and should never) happen. Financial records are commonly requested by unions, and it is labor law 101 to reject all such requests outright.
6) "If there is a lockout the NFL will lose me as a fan and I won't be back."
I hear this one all the time and it's just silly. First off, the odds that there will be some form of a lockout are probably -300 in favor. 3-1 is pretty good odds. After seeing the Packers win Super Bowl XLV are you really willing to take that kind of a risk? You'll be back.
The caveat to my lockout prediction is that I put the odds on the season starting on time (and being played in full) at -900. I've seen far worse situations get worked out, and the NFL and NFLPA have the advantage of the CBA expiring a full six months before the start of the 2011 season. That is plenty of time to work out a deal, no matter how far apart the sides are. There will be a season, we will have fantasy football, and the Packers will be on the field to defend their title.
So there you have it. The labor situation is a nightmare, it is a pain to hear about, and isn't fun to write or talk about. But it happens in all industries where labor is organized. The people in charge of the NFLPA have their own interests (and political aspirations) in mind, and aren't afraid to tell you that at the bargaining table.
At the end of the day, players like Jermichael Finley and Nick Barnett can tweet all they want about how much they want to play and how much they need your support, but they need a paycheck to pay for the fur coats, watches, and trucks they "need" and desire. Thus, the players will come around, just maybe not on March 3.
In the meantime, as your attorney, I advise you to wholeheartedly reject the players pleas for your support and instead let them know that you are solidly in support of the owners. The faster fans break the NFLPA, the faster the players get back on the field.
Don't fall for the hype.
GO PACK GO
80,000 words don't help anybody, and giving labor law advice is what I do for "work," so it's not a whole lot of fun for me to spend the hour a week I devote to this site writing about work.
Instead of analyzing the issues I'm going to cover some of the misconceptions that persist about the NFL Labor dispute. If you are interested in researching the issues beyond what is in this article, I'd like to bless Andrew Brandt's eight part series on the subject.
Brandt's series is well-written, contains a perspective on both sides of the issues, and will tell you everything you need to know about the likely outcome of this nasty mess without me giving you a course in labor law.
On to the misconceptions:
1) "The owners stormed out of negotiations last week. They don't want a deal to get done."
The owners want to get a deal done as soon as possible. They know their business is going to take the heat for any lost games, and they also know that the public tends to side with the players since: a) the public is personally attached to the players; b) there are a lot of players preaching uninformed nonsense on twitter; and c) people seem to think the players are accurately informed by the NFLPA. Accordingly, it behooves the owners to get a deal done as soon as possible.
The cancellation of negotiations last week was purely strategic. The talks were going nowhere and the owners needed to position themselves to file an Unfair Labor Practice charge ("ULP") against the union. By doing so the league is charging the union with a refusal to bargain. Its reason for this is threefold:
First, the league would like to force the union to have meaningful negotiations. Lawyers cost a lot of money, and it doesn't make sense to fly people in to sit at a table (at $500 per hour) where one party is being unreasonable. Some pressure had to be applied to force the union to engage in meaningful negotiations. In order to do so, the league had to seek the intervention of an administrative body.
Second, the union can attempt (and has threatened) to "decertify" itself. If the NFLPA does this the league would be able to implement its own rules absent a collective bargaining agreement (they would continue with the structure that was in place in 2010). However, the union would then file an antitrust lawsuit claiming that the owners were acting in concert to restrain trade in violation of the federal antitrust laws. A refusal to bargain ULP is the first step in a league attempt to block decertification.
Finally, if the two sides reach impasse (a total block in negotiations), the league can unilaterally implement its last, best, and final offer. Obviously the NFLPA doesn't want this to happen because another year under the 2010 rules will be seen as a victory for the league, and the players will be more than a little unhappy. However, under this scenario the situation would be temporarily resolved until the players strike on March 3, 2012.
Although declaring impasse and delaying things for a year sounds easy, it is very difficult to prove that two sides are actually at "impasse," and thus, striking a deal before the regular season is a more likely outcome. But until meaningful negotiations are exhausted, impasse (or a deal) can't occur. So the NFL needs intervention to force the sides to continue talking. They can only do this by walking away from a table where nothing is progressing.
In sum, the cancellation of last week's negotiations was only to facilitate things moving along more quickly via the filing of a ULP against the union (who are the real ones trying to stall things).
1a) "But why would the union want to stall things?"
The union wants to stall things because if a deal isn't done by March 3 there will be a lockout, for which the owners will squarely be blamed. The NFLPA knows there is significant leverage to be gained in a lockout, and this is what they really want (even though they will never say it).
2) "Why can't the two sides just get a deal done?"
Reaching a deal in a heated labor negotiation almost never happens until the absolute eleventh hour. I can't tell you how many times in my career a strike or lockout has been imminent and the parties settled the dispute at the very last possible moment. It just seems to be the way these things are done in the legal profession.
3) "We should support the players because they are running a #letusplay campaign on Twitter."
Although it's great to support your favorite player, remember that he may not be the high-character guy you think he is. Which is fine. How often do you go to work not looking to get the best possible deal for yourself? Football is a business, just like a grocery store, paper mill, law firm, or hospital. Both sides need to work out a compromise that is favorable to all parties, and can't just strike a deal to strike a deal.
What people don't understand is that the players themselves are left in the dark about what is going on behind closed doors in union negotiations. They have "player representatives" (union stewards) that learn a little and can deliver union-prepared speeches, but for the most part labor negotiations are conducted by a bunch of lawyers in a room racking up billable hours.
The players can "want to play"all they want, but they don't have that choice (at least not individually). If they really want to get on the field, what the players should be doing is putting pressure on the NFLPA to make some concessions to the owners. However, that's highly unlikely given their level of knowledge about how this process actually works.
4) "I support the NFLPA because the owners are greedy and I'd never agree to a pay cut."
"Greed is good." - Gordon Gecko, 1988.
The owners are greedy, they are businessmen. This isn't a bad thing. By putting the best product on the field, the owners make more money. Interesting concept huh?
Why would you ever invest hundreds of millions of dollars in something that won't provide you with a return? Is it because you love football that much? Come on.
The NFL is a multi-billion dollar business and under no circumstances will the [veteran] players be taking a pay cut. That was never threatened and is wholly unrealistic. Instead, rookies like 2007's JaMarcus Russell (may his career rest in peace) are going to be sacrificed and will wind up being paid on a scale like rookies in the NBA.
Everyone agrees that rookies will be taking the hit. Anything you hear about players taking a pay cut is just lip service by the NFLPA. This was never threatened, and would never be realistic.
5) "The owners need to open their books. It would facilitate a deal."
This is as unethical a request as it is unrealistic. The players have no right to examine their employer's financial records. The process is called "collective bargaining." What exactly are the players offering to give up in order to examine the private financial business records of their employer? Open books are not something that happens even in the worst economic times.
Although you may be able to find situations where an employer has opened its books to its employees, it is likely in a situation where they have filed for bankruptcy or have some incentive to do so. Proving that there is less profit than the players claim there is is not a legitimate reason to open private financial records. The risk for exposure is far too great.
Again, this will never (and should never) happen. Financial records are commonly requested by unions, and it is labor law 101 to reject all such requests outright.
6) "If there is a lockout the NFL will lose me as a fan and I won't be back."
I hear this one all the time and it's just silly. First off, the odds that there will be some form of a lockout are probably -300 in favor. 3-1 is pretty good odds. After seeing the Packers win Super Bowl XLV are you really willing to take that kind of a risk? You'll be back.
The caveat to my lockout prediction is that I put the odds on the season starting on time (and being played in full) at -900. I've seen far worse situations get worked out, and the NFL and NFLPA have the advantage of the CBA expiring a full six months before the start of the 2011 season. That is plenty of time to work out a deal, no matter how far apart the sides are. There will be a season, we will have fantasy football, and the Packers will be on the field to defend their title.
So there you have it. The labor situation is a nightmare, it is a pain to hear about, and isn't fun to write or talk about. But it happens in all industries where labor is organized. The people in charge of the NFLPA have their own interests (and political aspirations) in mind, and aren't afraid to tell you that at the bargaining table.
At the end of the day, players like Jermichael Finley and Nick Barnett can tweet all they want about how much they want to play and how much they need your support, but they need a paycheck to pay for the fur coats, watches, and trucks they "need" and desire. Thus, the players will come around, just maybe not on March 3.
In the meantime, as your attorney, I advise you to wholeheartedly reject the players pleas for your support and instead let them know that you are solidly in support of the owners. The faster fans break the NFLPA, the faster the players get back on the field.
Don't fall for the hype.
GO PACK GO
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Jared Sullinger is Not a Likeable Young Man
So not much going on today. We are seven days away from a Super Bowl win, and one day away from Bucky's first win over a number 1 team in 49 years, so excuse me if working out and going grocery shopping is less than exciting. I should probably mention to those who didn't watch, that Wisconsin also beat number one Ohio St. in football this year too. This is the only time this combo has ever happened between the same teams. Ohio State can lick my balls.
I'll admit, I hadn't sat and watched an entire Ohio St. game this season yet. Which probably makes me similar to 95% of the people that vote in the polls. I was actually pretty impressed until about 13 minutes left when the Badgers decided they weren't going to miss a shot for the rest of the game (exaggeration). The Buckeyes play the best defense of any team I've seen this year. We could not get off a decent shot, which didn't matter at the end because we made them all. UW's offense for most of the first half was pass it around until 8 seconds left on the shot clock and let Taylor go one on five. Gotta give Ohio St credit.
What I think I enjoyed most is that the game gave me a player to strongly dislike in college basketball. I haven't had much time to hate because I was preoccupied by football. Of course I generally dislike everyone in the B12 Ten except for Wisconsin, but there hadn't been one player that jumped off the page to me that I strongly disliked except maybe Dimitri McCamey. Well, thank you Jared Sullinger. He is a crybaby and a bitch. Sure he had 19 and 12, but it was a quiet 19-12 in a losing effort. And as soon as Ohio St got down by 5 early, he was seen whining and crying to the refs about being hit and held (true). Then, he was seen falling like he got shot with little to no contact (Sasha Vujicic style) in the lane to draw foul calls. Finally, there is this. Is it possible that someone spit on him? Maybe. It isn't out of the question. But as loud and rowdy as UW fans get, they aren't known to get physical with 7 foot tall basketball players. I feel like this is someone bitching because they lost their first game on his way to the NBA. I hope the NBA goes on strike next season and he has to accept his meager $250k salary and Hummer to stay at Ohio St for another year. Jeff Potrykus of the Journal-Sentinal is also skeptical.
I'll admit, I hadn't sat and watched an entire Ohio St. game this season yet. Which probably makes me similar to 95% of the people that vote in the polls. I was actually pretty impressed until about 13 minutes left when the Badgers decided they weren't going to miss a shot for the rest of the game (exaggeration). The Buckeyes play the best defense of any team I've seen this year. We could not get off a decent shot, which didn't matter at the end because we made them all. UW's offense for most of the first half was pass it around until 8 seconds left on the shot clock and let Taylor go one on five. Gotta give Ohio St credit.
What I think I enjoyed most is that the game gave me a player to strongly dislike in college basketball. I haven't had much time to hate because I was preoccupied by football. Of course I generally dislike everyone in the B12 Ten except for Wisconsin, but there hadn't been one player that jumped off the page to me that I strongly disliked except maybe Dimitri McCamey. Well, thank you Jared Sullinger. He is a crybaby and a bitch. Sure he had 19 and 12, but it was a quiet 19-12 in a losing effort. And as soon as Ohio St got down by 5 early, he was seen whining and crying to the refs about being hit and held (true). Then, he was seen falling like he got shot with little to no contact (Sasha Vujicic style) in the lane to draw foul calls. Finally, there is this. Is it possible that someone spit on him? Maybe. It isn't out of the question. But as loud and rowdy as UW fans get, they aren't known to get physical with 7 foot tall basketball players. I feel like this is someone bitching because they lost their first game on his way to the NBA. I hope the NBA goes on strike next season and he has to accept his meager $250k salary and Hummer to stay at Ohio St for another year. Jeff Potrykus of the Journal-Sentinal is also skeptical.
So I guess its college basketball season. If you want to see two not good teams play tonight, Creighton is playing Southern Illinois. Good rivalry, VERY mediocre basketball.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
BRETT FAVRE!! DURRRR!
There. I said it. Now if everyone could fucking stop uttering his name every two seconds, I would greatly appreciate it.
Obviously, I echo the thoughts of the others that wrote previously on the 13th World Championship won by the greatest franchise in sports. And I did cry a little bit. And I didn't even have a kid, or smoke 13 cigarettes (although I may have smoked 12 poles, but I didn't think I got that drunk Saturday, whatever it was totally worth it), or listen to the game from the cockpit of my 8 cylinder racism machine. It was awesome, and even though that has been echoed roughly eight million times, I'm going to say it again. It was awesome.
I couldn't be happier, and I don't think that many teams ever have deserved it as much, and have gone through so much. It is a championship to be proud of. Thompson knows what he's doing haters, and I guess McCarthy (the Saturday ring fitting) knows how to motivate.
I watched every postgame show I could, and even two days later, I am reading everything I can. I want to soak it all in, and appreciate the greatness for what it is.
But a few things have happened that have made me question how big of a fan I really am on the grand scale of Packer fandom. First, my qualifications:
1) Grew up approximately 14 miles West of Green Bay.
2) To my knowledge, I haven't missed an entire game as long as I can remember. Sure, before the days of DVR I may have missed a part of a game here or there when I was younger. I may have listened to a few on the radio or whatever. But I would say I've probably watched or listened to somewhere in the neighborhood of 400 games, which discounts anything before I was 5, because I don't remember shit from then. This includes a three year stint in Omaha, that required trips to Packer bars.
3) I've been fortunate enough to attend 31 games. Which probably doesn't seem like that many considering I've lived within a half hour of the stadium for 23 years of my life, but fuck you. I didn't have season tickets in the family (I have an uncle with a pair, but that only got me to one game), and I don't have rich parents. I didn't have money before I got a real job, and I didn't have a real job (which really should be in like triple quotations because there are managers at McDonald's that probably make the same as me, and spent roughly $100,000 less on school) until about 5 years ago.
4) I once let Paul Hornung touch my peepee. (We were both drunk and he is a living legend, so screw you for judging me).
5) I wear a jersey for every game and the draft. And this jersey is of another grown man.
6) I'm not a complete moron.
I think that is a pretty solid resume.
So here is where I doubt my place.
1) I didn't spend $10,000 to go to the Super Bowl. First, I don't have that kind of expendable income. Unfortunately, the loans I have take precedent over anything else. I can't take out more. It sucks. Lots and lots of people spent money they didn't have to follow the team they love on the belief that this might be a once in a lifetime opportunity (even though this is the third such opportunity in my relatively short lifetime). They will pay for it later probably (or not, because people that do dumb things never pay for their mistakes).
2) I didn't sleep outside of a bar in sub-zero temps to watch the Packers play in the Super Bowl at a bar.
3) I didn't immediately jump in my car and drunk drive to either downtown GB or to Lambeau like thousands and thousands of others did. I'll be honest, the thought never crossed my mind. I enjoyed watching it on TV, and not going to jail. But I actually might regret this a little. It looked fucking awesome.
4) I didn't skip work against my employer's wishes to either stand in a snow bank or stand in a parking lot at Lambeau to watch players either drive by or get off of a bus.
5) I didn't skip work against my employer's wishes to pay $5 to sit in sub-zero temps to listen to players talk at Lambeau today. Nor did I start tailgating at 9am for it.
Other people, probably many of the same people in repetition, did all of these things. I didn't. Does it make me love the Packers any less? Does it make me less of a fan? I guess it depends on your definition of "fan". It definitely makes me less borderline insane. My defense is, there are a lot of 80 year old Packer fans that have seen the team win 7 or 8 championships who weren't there either. I'm not 80, but I don't think you have to inhale diesel fumes in -5 degree temps to be a fan. I'm just saying that isn't my deal. If you were there, good for you. Don't hate on me.
What is kind of crazy to me is that this has all set in for me, and I'm not sure that my life is really altered. Other than it makes me as a Packer fan that much better than every other fan in the NFL.
Also, BRETT FAVRE, BRETT FAVRE, BRETT FAVRE, BRETT FAVRE, BRETT FAVRE, BRETT, BRETT, BRETT, FAVRE, FAVRE, FAVRE
I'm going to have a fan perspective on the fake strike as soon as Jon gives his legal slant. Or maybe before, I dunno.
Obviously, I echo the thoughts of the others that wrote previously on the 13th World Championship won by the greatest franchise in sports. And I did cry a little bit. And I didn't even have a kid, or smoke 13 cigarettes (although I may have smoked 12 poles, but I didn't think I got that drunk Saturday, whatever it was totally worth it), or listen to the game from the cockpit of my 8 cylinder racism machine. It was awesome, and even though that has been echoed roughly eight million times, I'm going to say it again. It was awesome.
I couldn't be happier, and I don't think that many teams ever have deserved it as much, and have gone through so much. It is a championship to be proud of. Thompson knows what he's doing haters, and I guess McCarthy (the Saturday ring fitting) knows how to motivate.
I watched every postgame show I could, and even two days later, I am reading everything I can. I want to soak it all in, and appreciate the greatness for what it is.
But a few things have happened that have made me question how big of a fan I really am on the grand scale of Packer fandom. First, my qualifications:
1) Grew up approximately 14 miles West of Green Bay.
2) To my knowledge, I haven't missed an entire game as long as I can remember. Sure, before the days of DVR I may have missed a part of a game here or there when I was younger. I may have listened to a few on the radio or whatever. But I would say I've probably watched or listened to somewhere in the neighborhood of 400 games, which discounts anything before I was 5, because I don't remember shit from then. This includes a three year stint in Omaha, that required trips to Packer bars.
3) I've been fortunate enough to attend 31 games. Which probably doesn't seem like that many considering I've lived within a half hour of the stadium for 23 years of my life, but fuck you. I didn't have season tickets in the family (I have an uncle with a pair, but that only got me to one game), and I don't have rich parents. I didn't have money before I got a real job, and I didn't have a real job (which really should be in like triple quotations because there are managers at McDonald's that probably make the same as me, and spent roughly $100,000 less on school) until about 5 years ago.
4) I once let Paul Hornung touch my peepee. (We were both drunk and he is a living legend, so screw you for judging me).
5) I wear a jersey for every game and the draft. And this jersey is of another grown man.
6) I'm not a complete moron.
I think that is a pretty solid resume.
So here is where I doubt my place.
1) I didn't spend $10,000 to go to the Super Bowl. First, I don't have that kind of expendable income. Unfortunately, the loans I have take precedent over anything else. I can't take out more. It sucks. Lots and lots of people spent money they didn't have to follow the team they love on the belief that this might be a once in a lifetime opportunity (even though this is the third such opportunity in my relatively short lifetime). They will pay for it later probably (or not, because people that do dumb things never pay for their mistakes).
2) I didn't sleep outside of a bar in sub-zero temps to watch the Packers play in the Super Bowl at a bar.
3) I didn't immediately jump in my car and drunk drive to either downtown GB or to Lambeau like thousands and thousands of others did. I'll be honest, the thought never crossed my mind. I enjoyed watching it on TV, and not going to jail. But I actually might regret this a little. It looked fucking awesome.
4) I didn't skip work against my employer's wishes to either stand in a snow bank or stand in a parking lot at Lambeau to watch players either drive by or get off of a bus.
5) I didn't skip work against my employer's wishes to pay $5 to sit in sub-zero temps to listen to players talk at Lambeau today. Nor did I start tailgating at 9am for it.
Other people, probably many of the same people in repetition, did all of these things. I didn't. Does it make me love the Packers any less? Does it make me less of a fan? I guess it depends on your definition of "fan". It definitely makes me less borderline insane. My defense is, there are a lot of 80 year old Packer fans that have seen the team win 7 or 8 championships who weren't there either. I'm not 80, but I don't think you have to inhale diesel fumes in -5 degree temps to be a fan. I'm just saying that isn't my deal. If you were there, good for you. Don't hate on me.
What is kind of crazy to me is that this has all set in for me, and I'm not sure that my life is really altered. Other than it makes me as a Packer fan that much better than every other fan in the NFL.
Also, BRETT FAVRE, BRETT FAVRE, BRETT FAVRE, BRETT FAVRE, BRETT FAVRE, BRETT, BRETT, BRETT, FAVRE, FAVRE, FAVRE
I'm going to have a fan perspective on the fake strike as soon as Jon gives his legal slant. Or maybe before, I dunno.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Super Bowl - California Edition
Big couple of days in my household, as I had the ultimate pre-party. If you can beat this, I need to hear it.
Super Bowl Sunday got off to a rousing start with the arrival of Logan Jonathan Gonzalez (aka "Wolverine") at 12:43 a.m. Words don't describe the experience, but it is in fact as cool as they say. The Packers winning the game last night was also a huge bonus treat for Angie and I, as it topped off an already magical day.
I can tell you all with absolute certainty that Logan is set for life to become the worlds coolest kid (at least if judged by Packer fans). Not only was he born on the morning of what would turn out to be the latest in the Packers storied history of NFL championships, he was immediately clad in green and gold and wore his Rodgers jersey while watching the game.
Logan was integrated into the Packers family by birth. His mother grew up 18.9 miles west of Lambeau Field, and I am an obsessed Packers fan who flies all over the country to attend multiple games per year (I don't miss a minute of Packer football). Now that he was born literally hours before the Packers won their fourth Super Bowl title, he will forever be known to Packers fans as "the lucky charm."
Since the end of the game I've had countless non-Packer fans tell me how hard they were rooting for our boys to win just because it "felt right" given the arrival of our Super Bowl baby boy. Even a Steelers fan told me she was kind of rooting for us on the inside due to Logan's arrival. So we had that on our side.
Sidebar -Skip to "end sidebar" if only interested in the sports portion of this article (but run the risk of some fun pop culture [albeit family-related] stuff). I try and make my personal stuff interesting for you unlike some ESPNMilwaukee twitter reporters (no need to mention names), but if you only want to read about the game go ahead and skip down to the next bolded section.
I know a lot of people say their kid is the coolest ever, but I'm going to give you a persuasive argument as to why, in this case, it's true. No lip service here, I'll give you evidence even though he's only 1 day old.
First off, Logan was born a Packer fan and his team won the Super Bowl on his birthday. A lot of kids in his class are gonna be pretty jealous about that if you ask me. Think about it, in second grade there will be some sort of show & tell presentation where kids are asked to research what happened on the day they were born. Only Logan can say that HIS team won the Super Bowl FOR HIM on HIS birthday (or at least that's how I'm going sell him on being a Packer fan and keep him from rooting for the Queens or Bears).
Next, I looked up notable February 6th birthdays and the list read like a "who's who" of badasses and insanely successful people. Here are the highlights:
1) Ronald Reagan- Born February 6, 1911.
"The Gipper" was a cowboy who ended the cold war and saved America from mutually assured destruction. He was born exactly 100 years before Logan, and is considered by many to be the greatest American in history. He belongs on Mount Rushmore.
"Cool" factor: 9.5.
2) George Herman "Babe" Ruth - born February 6, 1895.
Pretty much invented the Home Run and tearing the cover off of baseballs. Oh yeah, and he put a hex on the Red Sox that lasted 89 years. Since their fans wear lame hats and had a stupid movie called "Fever Pitch" made about them, the curse thing increases the "cool" factor by .5.
"Cool" factor: 9.0
3) Axl Rose - born February 6, 1962
If Axl weren't such a pussy, and had the nucleus of Guns 'n Roses stayed together for 10 more years, the "cool" factor would be higher on this one. Nevertheless, playing "Sweet Child 'o Mine" on my ipod on Axl & Logan's birthday was pretty cool.
"Cool" factor: 7.0 (adjusted because Axl is kind of a pussy).
4) Bob Marley - February 6, 1945
I've never been a fan of weed's effect on me, but I do appreciate a good reggae tune, and am totally cool with people who love getting high (except you Logan, stay away from drugs. Far away). Thus, the "cool" factor is definitely there for a musician like Marley. Plus, Angie had a smooth delivery, so it was definitely "No Woman No Cry."
However, Logan was born to a set of parents that kind of want to give him everything, and not in a shanty town, so if he takes anything from Marley, take away the fact that the dude was a bad ass who spoke his mind and was an artist with a loyal following many years after his death.
"Cool" factor: 7.0.
5) Aaron Burr - Born February 6, 1756
Former Vice President of the United States best remembered for killing Alexander Hamilton in a famous 1804 duel. While this doesn't sound sexy, anytime you are best remembered for being a participant in a "duel" and you were the dude that lived you get massive cool points from me! I mean, Burr shot Alexander Hamilton and walked away to talk about it.
"Cool" factor: 5.0
6) Tom Brokaw - Born February 6, 1940
I struggled with whether to include Brokaw in this article. On one hand, he doesn't reek of "cool." On the other, he's covered pretty much every important event in world history from Watergate through the Athens Olympics. This guy saw a ton of global conflicts worldwide firsthand. He passes the sniff test.
"Cool" factor: 4.9 (only because he can't be as cool as a guy who won a real "duel").
As for famous people that share Logan's parents birthdates, I was born on June 16. Tupac Shakur and Phil Mickelson share my birthday. There is definitely some "cool" there. Angie was born on September 26. Although doesn't have anybody on the level of Ronald Reagan or Tupac, she does have Linda Hamilton, who portrayed Sarah Connor in Terminator and Terminator 2. Again, there is some definite "cool" there.
I really enjoyed looking up the shared birthdates yesterday. It helped pass the time before Logan arrived. At one point it looked like he was going to be born on February 5, which would have made him the only famous person born on his birthday. He clearly didn't want that and stayed in until Super Bowl Sunday, albeit barely.
So there you have it. Our family of 2 is now a family of 3, and we couldn't be happier. Mom and baby are both doing great, and I've got enough energy to write, so that's a definite positive!
Yes, yesterday was the greatest day of my life. The Packer game certainly didn't hurt either!
Back to the game . . .
End SideBar
Thank god I had a lot going on yesterday and missed the 12 hours of pre-game. I'd heard enough by Saturday afternoon and wasn't going to change my pregame opinion (packers win a close one fueled by a game-changing play by the defense).
I tuned in right at 3:00 so that I could watch the teams take the field. I love watching players faces before big games with the hope that I can gain some insight into their level of nerves. Hines Ward and Ben looked very nervous, which surprised me since they each have 2 rings and one has a S.B. MVP.
On the other side of the field, Rodgers looked cool as ice, which was good because I've seen him look really nervous in prior big games. It was nice to see him get past all that in time for the biggest game of his life.
I don't think enough can be written about Christina Aguilera. Although it's been covered on this blog already, come on. Epic choke job. Only EVERYONE in America knows the lyrics to the national anthem. Since I was watching it here in the hospital (and not in a bar), I was able to pick up on it right away.
Look, I get it when Metallica is on day 185 of a 200 day tour, has been in 160 cities, is on enough drugs to eviscerate the population of Grenada and they mistakenly say "Arrree YOU READY St. Louis?"while in Memphis, but this is the Super Bowl, it's the ONLY time you'll sing this song this year. Total failure.
The game itself is gonna be a lot of fun to watch the second time through. I'm glad I recorded it, because I legitimately thought I was going to be sick in the fourth quarter, and I'm sure I've forgotten a good portion of the stuff I wanted to write about.
I'm not going to make a big deal out of it because I'll be forever grateful that he helped deliver a Super Bowl title to Green Bay, but I've harped on McCarthy all season about his mismanagement of the playbook with big leads, and I'm not going to stop now. Instead of his usual "run three times into a nine man front" big-lead playcalling, MM decided to keep testing the outside when it wasn't working. This led to 2nd and 3rd and long all day (and really pissed me off). The middle was wide open, and 5 yard passes take off big chunks of time! Please use them.
Nevertheless, the Packers got the big turnover(s) I was hoping for and Ben failed to deliver in the clutch (can't really hang this one on him though, despite the turnovers he had a pretty decent game). Add to that the fact that Rodgers cemented himself as one of if not the best quarterback in the NFL with a well-deserved MVP performance, and I'd say the Packers Super Bowl XLV experience was about all they could have asked for.
After the game was over I had some legitimate tears streaming down my face. Yes, it was the culmination of everything that happened yesterday, but more than that, I feel like us fans have really matured right along with this edition of the Green Bay Packers. Through all the injuries this year and all the bullshit that happened the past 3 years we got through it and are on cloud 9. I hope they keep partying in the streets downtown until Angie and I come back in 3 weeks. If they stop, I'm going to get them started again so I can enjoy it.
Finally, I'm beyond ready to put the Favre drama behind me. Welcome back Brett. It's not just the Super Bowl high either, although it is related. I feel like now that the Packers have won a Super Bowl without Favre it's time to be the gracious victor in the divorce and do everything that we can to bring him back into the fold. He's an important piece of Packer history, and it doesn't feel right rooting for him to fail. It's time to let bygones be bygones . . . after we're done celebrating the XLV victory.
In the next couple weeks I'll give you a column with my thoughts on the NFL labor-situation. Since I'm a management-side labor lawyer by trade, I can hopefully translate some of the posturing that will be going on between now and the March 3 expiration of the current CBA.
As a preview of the labor column, I will tell you all that I am completely confident that the Packers will kick off the 2011 season on time, and ready to defend their title.
In case you missed it, WE WON THE EFFING SUPER BOWL YESTERDAY.
GO PACK GO.
I can tell you all with absolute certainty that Logan is set for life to become the worlds coolest kid (at least if judged by Packer fans). Not only was he born on the morning of what would turn out to be the latest in the Packers storied history of NFL championships, he was immediately clad in green and gold and wore his Rodgers jersey while watching the game.
Logan was integrated into the Packers family by birth. His mother grew up 18.9 miles west of Lambeau Field, and I am an obsessed Packers fan who flies all over the country to attend multiple games per year (I don't miss a minute of Packer football). Now that he was born literally hours before the Packers won their fourth Super Bowl title, he will forever be known to Packers fans as "the lucky charm."
Since the end of the game I've had countless non-Packer fans tell me how hard they were rooting for our boys to win just because it "felt right" given the arrival of our Super Bowl baby boy. Even a Steelers fan told me she was kind of rooting for us on the inside due to Logan's arrival. So we had that on our side.
Sidebar -Skip to "end sidebar" if only interested in the sports portion of this article (but run the risk of some fun pop culture [albeit family-related] stuff). I try and make my personal stuff interesting for you unlike some ESPNMilwaukee twitter reporters (no need to mention names), but if you only want to read about the game go ahead and skip down to the next bolded section.
I know a lot of people say their kid is the coolest ever, but I'm going to give you a persuasive argument as to why, in this case, it's true. No lip service here, I'll give you evidence even though he's only 1 day old.
First off, Logan was born a Packer fan and his team won the Super Bowl on his birthday. A lot of kids in his class are gonna be pretty jealous about that if you ask me. Think about it, in second grade there will be some sort of show & tell presentation where kids are asked to research what happened on the day they were born. Only Logan can say that HIS team won the Super Bowl FOR HIM on HIS birthday (or at least that's how I'm going sell him on being a Packer fan and keep him from rooting for the Queens or Bears).
Next, I looked up notable February 6th birthdays and the list read like a "who's who" of badasses and insanely successful people. Here are the highlights:
1) Ronald Reagan- Born February 6, 1911.
"The Gipper" was a cowboy who ended the cold war and saved America from mutually assured destruction. He was born exactly 100 years before Logan, and is considered by many to be the greatest American in history. He belongs on Mount Rushmore.
"Cool" factor: 9.5.
2) George Herman "Babe" Ruth - born February 6, 1895.
Pretty much invented the Home Run and tearing the cover off of baseballs. Oh yeah, and he put a hex on the Red Sox that lasted 89 years. Since their fans wear lame hats and had a stupid movie called "Fever Pitch" made about them, the curse thing increases the "cool" factor by .5.
"Cool" factor: 9.0
3) Axl Rose - born February 6, 1962
If Axl weren't such a pussy, and had the nucleus of Guns 'n Roses stayed together for 10 more years, the "cool" factor would be higher on this one. Nevertheless, playing "Sweet Child 'o Mine" on my ipod on Axl & Logan's birthday was pretty cool.
"Cool" factor: 7.0 (adjusted because Axl is kind of a pussy).
4) Bob Marley - February 6, 1945
I've never been a fan of weed's effect on me, but I do appreciate a good reggae tune, and am totally cool with people who love getting high (except you Logan, stay away from drugs. Far away). Thus, the "cool" factor is definitely there for a musician like Marley. Plus, Angie had a smooth delivery, so it was definitely "No Woman No Cry."
However, Logan was born to a set of parents that kind of want to give him everything, and not in a shanty town, so if he takes anything from Marley, take away the fact that the dude was a bad ass who spoke his mind and was an artist with a loyal following many years after his death.
"Cool" factor: 7.0.
5) Aaron Burr - Born February 6, 1756
Former Vice President of the United States best remembered for killing Alexander Hamilton in a famous 1804 duel. While this doesn't sound sexy, anytime you are best remembered for being a participant in a "duel" and you were the dude that lived you get massive cool points from me! I mean, Burr shot Alexander Hamilton and walked away to talk about it.
"Cool" factor: 5.0
6) Tom Brokaw - Born February 6, 1940
I struggled with whether to include Brokaw in this article. On one hand, he doesn't reek of "cool." On the other, he's covered pretty much every important event in world history from Watergate through the Athens Olympics. This guy saw a ton of global conflicts worldwide firsthand. He passes the sniff test.
"Cool" factor: 4.9 (only because he can't be as cool as a guy who won a real "duel").
As for famous people that share Logan's parents birthdates, I was born on June 16. Tupac Shakur and Phil Mickelson share my birthday. There is definitely some "cool" there. Angie was born on September 26. Although doesn't have anybody on the level of Ronald Reagan or Tupac, she does have Linda Hamilton, who portrayed Sarah Connor in Terminator and Terminator 2. Again, there is some definite "cool" there.
I really enjoyed looking up the shared birthdates yesterday. It helped pass the time before Logan arrived. At one point it looked like he was going to be born on February 5, which would have made him the only famous person born on his birthday. He clearly didn't want that and stayed in until Super Bowl Sunday, albeit barely.
So there you have it. Our family of 2 is now a family of 3, and we couldn't be happier. Mom and baby are both doing great, and I've got enough energy to write, so that's a definite positive!
Yes, yesterday was the greatest day of my life. The Packer game certainly didn't hurt either!
Back to the game . . .
End SideBar
Thank god I had a lot going on yesterday and missed the 12 hours of pre-game. I'd heard enough by Saturday afternoon and wasn't going to change my pregame opinion (packers win a close one fueled by a game-changing play by the defense).
I tuned in right at 3:00 so that I could watch the teams take the field. I love watching players faces before big games with the hope that I can gain some insight into their level of nerves. Hines Ward and Ben looked very nervous, which surprised me since they each have 2 rings and one has a S.B. MVP.
On the other side of the field, Rodgers looked cool as ice, which was good because I've seen him look really nervous in prior big games. It was nice to see him get past all that in time for the biggest game of his life.
I don't think enough can be written about Christina Aguilera. Although it's been covered on this blog already, come on. Epic choke job. Only EVERYONE in America knows the lyrics to the national anthem. Since I was watching it here in the hospital (and not in a bar), I was able to pick up on it right away.
Look, I get it when Metallica is on day 185 of a 200 day tour, has been in 160 cities, is on enough drugs to eviscerate the population of Grenada and they mistakenly say "Arrree YOU READY St. Louis?"while in Memphis, but this is the Super Bowl, it's the ONLY time you'll sing this song this year. Total failure.
The game itself is gonna be a lot of fun to watch the second time through. I'm glad I recorded it, because I legitimately thought I was going to be sick in the fourth quarter, and I'm sure I've forgotten a good portion of the stuff I wanted to write about.
I'm not going to make a big deal out of it because I'll be forever grateful that he helped deliver a Super Bowl title to Green Bay, but I've harped on McCarthy all season about his mismanagement of the playbook with big leads, and I'm not going to stop now. Instead of his usual "run three times into a nine man front" big-lead playcalling, MM decided to keep testing the outside when it wasn't working. This led to 2nd and 3rd and long all day (and really pissed me off). The middle was wide open, and 5 yard passes take off big chunks of time! Please use them.
Nevertheless, the Packers got the big turnover(s) I was hoping for and Ben failed to deliver in the clutch (can't really hang this one on him though, despite the turnovers he had a pretty decent game). Add to that the fact that Rodgers cemented himself as one of if not the best quarterback in the NFL with a well-deserved MVP performance, and I'd say the Packers Super Bowl XLV experience was about all they could have asked for.
After the game was over I had some legitimate tears streaming down my face. Yes, it was the culmination of everything that happened yesterday, but more than that, I feel like us fans have really matured right along with this edition of the Green Bay Packers. Through all the injuries this year and all the bullshit that happened the past 3 years we got through it and are on cloud 9. I hope they keep partying in the streets downtown until Angie and I come back in 3 weeks. If they stop, I'm going to get them started again so I can enjoy it.
Finally, I'm beyond ready to put the Favre drama behind me. Welcome back Brett. It's not just the Super Bowl high either, although it is related. I feel like now that the Packers have won a Super Bowl without Favre it's time to be the gracious victor in the divorce and do everything that we can to bring him back into the fold. He's an important piece of Packer history, and it doesn't feel right rooting for him to fail. It's time to let bygones be bygones . . . after we're done celebrating the XLV victory.
In the next couple weeks I'll give you a column with my thoughts on the NFL labor-situation. Since I'm a management-side labor lawyer by trade, I can hopefully translate some of the posturing that will be going on between now and the March 3 expiration of the current CBA.
As a preview of the labor column, I will tell you all that I am completely confident that the Packers will kick off the 2011 season on time, and ready to defend their title.
In case you missed it, WE WON THE EFFING SUPER BOWL YESTERDAY.
GO PACK GO.
My Super Bowl
The Packers have won the Super Bowl. The good folk of Wisconsin were out in force last night, I'm sure of this.
My only real grievance with the celebrations so far has been the astounding number of people still doing the Brent who? thing. I get it, Favre is/was/always will be a complete turbo douche. That's fine, hell I even said it myself last night, Rodgers now has one more Super Bowl MVP than Favre. I just never really liked the whole Brent who? meme and I had hoped it would eventually die, you know 3 years after he left and we had just won a Super Bowl and all. To me, this game was less about proving Favre wrong and more about proving everyone else who doubted Rodgers and TT wrong, including some hack named Colin Cowherd. Nick Collins would have needed at least one more pick six and maybe another turnover/3 sacks to steal the MVP trophy from Rodgers. There was no way that award was going to anyone else.
So apparently Christina Aguilera skipped a whole verse of the national anthem last night? Two things, who was the first person to actually notice this? Cuz I know it wasn't anyone at the bar that I was at. Second, is this even news except for the fact that the over/under of 1:54 became an under when it very easily would have gone over 2 minutes with the extra verse? If it's not Vegas relevant for the Super Bowl, it's not news!
One more pre Super Bowl tidbit before I delve into my Sunday, the Packers were sized for their Super Bowl rings Saturday night. Either that's what normally happens? Or that's a crotch full of bowling balls from the boys upstairs in the Packers organization haha. EDIT: That is not normal and it was McCarthy's decision.
Coming into this game I managed to watch zero pre game shenanigans until about 30 to 45 minutes before the game started. I got to the bar that I had watched every game at since my appearance at Lambeau christmas weekend when we crushed the Giants. I was hoping it would be dead and it was, first person there, got my seat right in the middle of the bar, just like usual. I wasn't nervous all week, but I started feeling that knot as soon as the opening kickoff came. The game started off slow, players working out their own nerves, couple of jabs met by both teams, little sloppy offensively. Then Rodgers heated up, two quick scores, high fives were everywhere, 14-0 Packers. The jitters were starting to fade.
The Steelers got a garbage field goal and Jarrett Bush stole a pick at around mid field. I believe my exact tweet at that moment, which I immediately knew was a mistake because I'm not a fan of Bush, was "Four more years of Bush!". This will be relevant shortly and I'll explain myself at further length. After that pick, I knew we were going to score again, I just had that feeling, but I said aloud, man I sure hope we don't leave more than a minute on the clock for Roethlisberger(Did you know he's raped multiple women?). Of course we immediately score and I was happy, but I kind of groaned because I could feel that inevitable end of the first half TD coming. Little did I know how terrible that drive would be for my psyche.
The Steelers started marching, fine whatever, but then Shields goes down, fuck. Ok, ok this is fine, we can handle this... Woodson goes down. FUCK. I'm cursing up a storm, the world is over, we're done, stick a fork in us, shit. I started making deals with the devil in my head, just bring one of the two back, I don't care which one, just bring one back, we can do this with one of these guys back. My concerns are immediately brought to light when Bush does his where's waldo routine in the corner of the end zone. The only thing that would have made that play better for me is if he had fallen down and started flailing around. The next tweet after my four more years of Bush was "I fucking hate Jarrett Bush", because I do. He's a dimeback/special teams guru at best at the NFL level, which is fine, teams need roleplayers too. Let's just not talk this guy up into being some greatly improved player because he's slightly less shitty this year compared to last year.
At this point in the game, Nick Collins is your non media biased MVP, his pick six was terrific and he was an absolute beast out there. Did you see the way he was flying up on receivers and running backs? He was hitting people so hard they were literally flying backwards from the point of contact. It was amazing to watch, it gave me chills. That was exactly what you want from your best safety in the Super Bowl. Big turnover, points scored, punishing hits on whoever is foolish enough to wander within 10 yards of him. You couldn't have asked for more.
Still, we were up 21-10 at halftime and I felt like we were losing, I kept frantically checking Twitter for updates on Shields and Woodson, nothing, nothing, worst Super Bowl halftime show ever, still nothing. Finally we got word that Shields was questionable to return, but he should be back, whew, there was a chance now, up 11 points with 30 minutes to go, that we could win.
We go 3 and out and the Steelers immediately score a touchdown, good god, everything was going wrong, another 3 and out. The god damn plane has crashed into the mountain. I sink into my chair and stare longingly up at the big screen, it's glow flickering around me, mocking me. We're going to tease you until the end and then rip your heart out... The Packers punted again near the end of the 3rd quarter, still clinging to a 21-17 lead. I stared at a few commercials, one made me smile I think, I was dejected though, right before the break was over I decided to step out to have a cigarette. I'm about 2 drags in and the back alley explodes in cheers, I text my buddy inside, What happened! "You're not allowed back inside" was his reply. It was the Mendenhall fumble, the Packers were on the move, more cheers. I quickly finished my smoke and ran back in. Right as I got around the entrance way corner and looked up at the TV, Rodgers was firing a pass at a wide open Jordy Nelson that went careening off his hands and into the defensive backfield. My buddy just scowled at me, "See? You're fucking jinxing us!".
Thus begins the worst possible way to end a Packer Super Bowl win that I ever could have imagined. I sat down and put my arm over my eyes and say, how about if I do this? Nelson catches the ball and scampers for about 37 yards down to the 2. Hmm. I watch the next play and Rodgers gets sacked on a broken play. Hmmm. I put my head down in my arm on the bar, Jennings touchdown. Ok this is getting creepy... I started off the Steelers drive not watching, but it didn't seem to affect them and I watched their drive all the way down for the score and 2 point conversion. 28-25 Packers with 7 minutes to go. I looked at my friend and said, I know what I have to do. I got up from the bar, went outside and got updates via texts for the last 7 minutes of the game. I was so convinced that I was jinxing the game by watching, that I stayed outside for the last 7 damn minutes of the game. If that's not insanity, I'm not sure how else you would define it.
I'll leave you with this tidbit from Aaron Nagler of CheeseheadTV. This is Mike McCarthy's misson statement after he was hired by the Packers in 2006.
My only real grievance with the celebrations so far has been the astounding number of people still doing the Brent who? thing. I get it, Favre is/was/always will be a complete turbo douche. That's fine, hell I even said it myself last night, Rodgers now has one more Super Bowl MVP than Favre. I just never really liked the whole Brent who? meme and I had hoped it would eventually die, you know 3 years after he left and we had just won a Super Bowl and all. To me, this game was less about proving Favre wrong and more about proving everyone else who doubted Rodgers and TT wrong, including some hack named Colin Cowherd. Nick Collins would have needed at least one more pick six and maybe another turnover/3 sacks to steal the MVP trophy from Rodgers. There was no way that award was going to anyone else.
So apparently Christina Aguilera skipped a whole verse of the national anthem last night? Two things, who was the first person to actually notice this? Cuz I know it wasn't anyone at the bar that I was at. Second, is this even news except for the fact that the over/under of 1:54 became an under when it very easily would have gone over 2 minutes with the extra verse? If it's not Vegas relevant for the Super Bowl, it's not news!
One more pre Super Bowl tidbit before I delve into my Sunday, the Packers were sized for their Super Bowl rings Saturday night. Either that's what normally happens? Or that's a crotch full of bowling balls from the boys upstairs in the Packers organization haha. EDIT: That is not normal and it was McCarthy's decision.
Coming into this game I managed to watch zero pre game shenanigans until about 30 to 45 minutes before the game started. I got to the bar that I had watched every game at since my appearance at Lambeau christmas weekend when we crushed the Giants. I was hoping it would be dead and it was, first person there, got my seat right in the middle of the bar, just like usual. I wasn't nervous all week, but I started feeling that knot as soon as the opening kickoff came. The game started off slow, players working out their own nerves, couple of jabs met by both teams, little sloppy offensively. Then Rodgers heated up, two quick scores, high fives were everywhere, 14-0 Packers. The jitters were starting to fade.
The Steelers got a garbage field goal and Jarrett Bush stole a pick at around mid field. I believe my exact tweet at that moment, which I immediately knew was a mistake because I'm not a fan of Bush, was "Four more years of Bush!". This will be relevant shortly and I'll explain myself at further length. After that pick, I knew we were going to score again, I just had that feeling, but I said aloud, man I sure hope we don't leave more than a minute on the clock for Roethlisberger(Did you know he's raped multiple women?). Of course we immediately score and I was happy, but I kind of groaned because I could feel that inevitable end of the first half TD coming. Little did I know how terrible that drive would be for my psyche.
The Steelers started marching, fine whatever, but then Shields goes down, fuck. Ok, ok this is fine, we can handle this... Woodson goes down. FUCK. I'm cursing up a storm, the world is over, we're done, stick a fork in us, shit. I started making deals with the devil in my head, just bring one of the two back, I don't care which one, just bring one back, we can do this with one of these guys back. My concerns are immediately brought to light when Bush does his where's waldo routine in the corner of the end zone. The only thing that would have made that play better for me is if he had fallen down and started flailing around. The next tweet after my four more years of Bush was "I fucking hate Jarrett Bush", because I do. He's a dimeback/special teams guru at best at the NFL level, which is fine, teams need roleplayers too. Let's just not talk this guy up into being some greatly improved player because he's slightly less shitty this year compared to last year.
At this point in the game, Nick Collins is your non media biased MVP, his pick six was terrific and he was an absolute beast out there. Did you see the way he was flying up on receivers and running backs? He was hitting people so hard they were literally flying backwards from the point of contact. It was amazing to watch, it gave me chills. That was exactly what you want from your best safety in the Super Bowl. Big turnover, points scored, punishing hits on whoever is foolish enough to wander within 10 yards of him. You couldn't have asked for more.
Still, we were up 21-10 at halftime and I felt like we were losing, I kept frantically checking Twitter for updates on Shields and Woodson, nothing, nothing, worst Super Bowl halftime show ever, still nothing. Finally we got word that Shields was questionable to return, but he should be back, whew, there was a chance now, up 11 points with 30 minutes to go, that we could win.
We go 3 and out and the Steelers immediately score a touchdown, good god, everything was going wrong, another 3 and out. The god damn plane has crashed into the mountain. I sink into my chair and stare longingly up at the big screen, it's glow flickering around me, mocking me. We're going to tease you until the end and then rip your heart out... The Packers punted again near the end of the 3rd quarter, still clinging to a 21-17 lead. I stared at a few commercials, one made me smile I think, I was dejected though, right before the break was over I decided to step out to have a cigarette. I'm about 2 drags in and the back alley explodes in cheers, I text my buddy inside, What happened! "You're not allowed back inside" was his reply. It was the Mendenhall fumble, the Packers were on the move, more cheers. I quickly finished my smoke and ran back in. Right as I got around the entrance way corner and looked up at the TV, Rodgers was firing a pass at a wide open Jordy Nelson that went careening off his hands and into the defensive backfield. My buddy just scowled at me, "See? You're fucking jinxing us!".
Thus begins the worst possible way to end a Packer Super Bowl win that I ever could have imagined. I sat down and put my arm over my eyes and say, how about if I do this? Nelson catches the ball and scampers for about 37 yards down to the 2. Hmm. I watch the next play and Rodgers gets sacked on a broken play. Hmmm. I put my head down in my arm on the bar, Jennings touchdown. Ok this is getting creepy... I started off the Steelers drive not watching, but it didn't seem to affect them and I watched their drive all the way down for the score and 2 point conversion. 28-25 Packers with 7 minutes to go. I looked at my friend and said, I know what I have to do. I got up from the bar, went outside and got updates via texts for the last 7 minutes of the game. I was so convinced that I was jinxing the game by watching, that I stayed outside for the last 7 damn minutes of the game. If that's not insanity, I'm not sure how else you would define it.
I'll leave you with this tidbit from Aaron Nagler of CheeseheadTV. This is Mike McCarthy's misson statement after he was hired by the Packers in 2006.
It wasn't me.....
I know I didn't suck 12 dicks so the Packers would win the Super Bowl, so that leaves only you, Juice. I just want to clear that up.
So now that I've stopped the Brett Favre taboo, I'm gonna give props to myself and Ted Thompson. I was as big of a Favre fan as anyone when he was a Packer, although he was always an attention seeking whore, and remained that way until (and I'm sure long after) he retired. But I was adamant that getting rid of him when they did was the right move, and I was right. So, thank you Ted Thompson. You obviously know a lot more than everyone else. Or this could be like my high school baseball team. Our coach really sucked, but we won anyways. I'm sure that's not the case, I'm just sayin. I mean, seriously, who needs a running game?
What a fucking mint Super Bowl!
For some reason, and maybe it's because I was 16 years old the last time they won the Super Bowl, but this win seems way cooler than the last one. I honestly don't know why, but it's fucking suh-WEEEET. And, um, Twinkie, go fuck yourself and whichever NFL team is your favorite.
It's very difficult to analyze a Super Bowl win. What can you say? I mean, that's it. It's over. Finished. You can't really improve on a Super Bowl victory. But, holy shit, I can't handle Packer post game shows. There are three Milwaukee stations that carry post game shows after every game. The callers are so fucking stupid. I swear, every other caller was calling this team a dynasty. Not a possible dynasty, an actual dynasty. The radio host would try to clarify that, but the callers are such idiots they couldn't understand. I don't know that exact definition of a dynasty, and maybe it's open to interpretation, but I think they need at least two more Super Bowls in the next few years to be a dynasty. Or maybe 3 or 4 more over the duration of Aaron Rodgers' career.
Has any sports fan every felt worse than Packer fans during that 3rd quarter? I mean, holy shit, Wayne Larrivee made it sound like the Packers were losing big time. "The game is slipping away from the Packers" was a quote in the 3rd quarter with the Packers winning 21-17. I understand what he means, but let's remain realistic. It did seem inevitable though but that forced/fumble recovery was and always will be the biggest play of both Clay Matthews and Desmond Bishop's careers. Everyone knew the Steelers were about to go up 24-21 (which was my final score prediction). Woodson was out, which really sucked donkey balls. I really don't mind losing Driver too much, but Woodson is the glue to that defense.
I try my best to like James Jones. He's got serious skills and was thought by many to have the best hands of any wide receiver coming out of college, and that draft included, I believe, Calvin Johnson. It's all a mind game now. Give credit to Rodgers. He doesn't give a shit if you drop a pass, if you get open on the next play he will get it to you (see Jordy Nelson).
Anyways, we get Ryan Grant and JerMichael Finley back next year. So, that's good. Some dipshits will sign with 4-12 teams for more money, so fuck them. Doesn't matter, we should have a very good next 6-7 years.
So now that I've stopped the Brett Favre taboo, I'm gonna give props to myself and Ted Thompson. I was as big of a Favre fan as anyone when he was a Packer, although he was always an attention seeking whore, and remained that way until (and I'm sure long after) he retired. But I was adamant that getting rid of him when they did was the right move, and I was right. So, thank you Ted Thompson. You obviously know a lot more than everyone else. Or this could be like my high school baseball team. Our coach really sucked, but we won anyways. I'm sure that's not the case, I'm just sayin. I mean, seriously, who needs a running game?
What a fucking mint Super Bowl!
For some reason, and maybe it's because I was 16 years old the last time they won the Super Bowl, but this win seems way cooler than the last one. I honestly don't know why, but it's fucking suh-WEEEET. And, um, Twinkie, go fuck yourself and whichever NFL team is your favorite.
It's very difficult to analyze a Super Bowl win. What can you say? I mean, that's it. It's over. Finished. You can't really improve on a Super Bowl victory. But, holy shit, I can't handle Packer post game shows. There are three Milwaukee stations that carry post game shows after every game. The callers are so fucking stupid. I swear, every other caller was calling this team a dynasty. Not a possible dynasty, an actual dynasty. The radio host would try to clarify that, but the callers are such idiots they couldn't understand. I don't know that exact definition of a dynasty, and maybe it's open to interpretation, but I think they need at least two more Super Bowls in the next few years to be a dynasty. Or maybe 3 or 4 more over the duration of Aaron Rodgers' career.
Has any sports fan every felt worse than Packer fans during that 3rd quarter? I mean, holy shit, Wayne Larrivee made it sound like the Packers were losing big time. "The game is slipping away from the Packers" was a quote in the 3rd quarter with the Packers winning 21-17. I understand what he means, but let's remain realistic. It did seem inevitable though but that forced/fumble recovery was and always will be the biggest play of both Clay Matthews and Desmond Bishop's careers. Everyone knew the Steelers were about to go up 24-21 (which was my final score prediction). Woodson was out, which really sucked donkey balls. I really don't mind losing Driver too much, but Woodson is the glue to that defense.
I try my best to like James Jones. He's got serious skills and was thought by many to have the best hands of any wide receiver coming out of college, and that draft included, I believe, Calvin Johnson. It's all a mind game now. Give credit to Rodgers. He doesn't give a shit if you drop a pass, if you get open on the next play he will get it to you (see Jordy Nelson).
Anyways, we get Ryan Grant and JerMichael Finley back next year. So, that's good. Some dipshits will sign with 4-12 teams for more money, so fuck them. Doesn't matter, we should have a very good next 6-7 years.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
My Half a Cent
I don't have a whole lot to say considering I need to get ready for work shortly. Yes, that's right, I need to work during the Super Bowl. Super Awesome.
I don't have good feelings about this game. It's really strange that no matter what the final score is, I won't be surprised. It could be a blowout either way. Or close either way.
I usually don't put a whole lot of stock into experience in games like this, but the Steelers have been here before. They've won it twice. And Ben Rapistberger has won a Super Bowl in the 4th quarter. 24-21 Steelers. But I did take the Pack at -3 and over 45.5. GO PACK GO! I'm sure it will be awesome on the radio. Totally.
I don't have good feelings about this game. It's really strange that no matter what the final score is, I won't be surprised. It could be a blowout either way. Or close either way.
I usually don't put a whole lot of stock into experience in games like this, but the Steelers have been here before. They've won it twice. And Ben Rapistberger has won a Super Bowl in the 4th quarter. 24-21 Steelers. But I did take the Pack at -3 and over 45.5. GO PACK GO! I'm sure it will be awesome on the radio. Totally.
Super Sunday
Time to settle in for 9.5 hours of pregame shows. For the 10,000 calories today (the wife and I spent $75 on snacks and booze for the two of us yesterday. I mean, so what if the saturated fat combined with the overwhelming stress might kill me. It might be another 13 years until this happens again.). For the three hour football game that will take 5 hours. For the commercials that non-football fans look forward to, but which haven't been good in a long time. For the 12 minute national anthem. For the pregame show to end, followed by the "kickoff show" which will take another 40 minutes. For Aaron Rodgers to have one of the best Super Bowl performances that a quarterback has ever had. For Big Ben to get sacked 5 times and picked twice. For the Pack to hoist the Lombardi trophy under an avalanche of green and gold confetti. For it to perhaps get a little dusty in here.
THE PLAN
Eating a lot. Watching Bucky smoke Sparty. Then finding something to do for three hours or so so I don't kill myself.
OTHER THINGS
-Rumor has it that an hour ago (8:30 a.m.), there were people lined up outside waiting to get into Stadium View to watch the Super Bowl. Reaffirms that a) Packer fans are awesome, b) I'm happy to be in my warm house drinking coffee.
-Last night I went to a b-day part for a friend. That douchebag "Fence Painter guy" with his douchy fence hat and douchy overalls showed up out of the blue, ate free food, and tried to get chicks to blow him. I hate that fucking guy.
-I'm REALLLY stressed. I had multiple Super Bowl dreams last night. 1) On a 3rd quarter FG attempt, the snap went through Matt Flynn's hands. The score was 28-27 Pit at the time. Later in my dream, in which I was at a mall drinking, not in view of TVs, and it was somehow attached to Cowboy Stadium, but not really that close, I found out the Packers won and Rodgers was MVP. Also a Predator, from the movie Predator was in the dream, and he spoke English.
THE PLAN
Eating a lot. Watching Bucky smoke Sparty. Then finding something to do for three hours or so so I don't kill myself.
OTHER THINGS
-Rumor has it that an hour ago (8:30 a.m.), there were people lined up outside waiting to get into Stadium View to watch the Super Bowl. Reaffirms that a) Packer fans are awesome, b) I'm happy to be in my warm house drinking coffee.
-Last night I went to a b-day part for a friend. That douchebag "Fence Painter guy" with his douchy fence hat and douchy overalls showed up out of the blue, ate free food, and tried to get chicks to blow him. I hate that fucking guy.
-I'm REALLLY stressed. I had multiple Super Bowl dreams last night. 1) On a 3rd quarter FG attempt, the snap went through Matt Flynn's hands. The score was 28-27 Pit at the time. Later in my dream, in which I was at a mall drinking, not in view of TVs, and it was somehow attached to Cowboy Stadium, but not really that close, I found out the Packers won and Rodgers was MVP. Also a Predator, from the movie Predator was in the dream, and he spoke English.
-It is hard to put into words what a win or a loss would mean to me. And what it would mean to Packer fans everywhere. This is probably going to mean the difference between the best offseason ever, and not dreading a work stoppage, and the worst offseason ever, compounded by said work stoppage.
GO PACK GO!
GO PACK GO!
Friday, February 4, 2011
Uncle
OK, I've officially had enough of the buildup. As much as I'm enjoying every media outlet on the planet earth pound every angle of every possible story of both teams into my head, I'm good now. We can play football. After the 73 hour pregame show that I think started yesterday afternoon on Fox, the 38 minute player introductions, which are only long because the Packers have 15 guys on IR and the 12 minute national anthem (take the OVER!!), we can finally play football.
I'm officially getting stressed. I would just like the game to be played now. I've got the final score: Packers 28, Steelers 13. I feel like Rodgers is too good, and I believe we will move the ball well. I don't think the Steelers offense is all that great. It is our time. Whatever happens, it is going to take me a long, long time to get over it.
I'm officially getting stressed. I would just like the game to be played now. I've got the final score: Packers 28, Steelers 13. I feel like Rodgers is too good, and I believe we will move the ball well. I don't think the Steelers offense is all that great. It is our time. Whatever happens, it is going to take me a long, long time to get over it.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Super Bowl Week: Media Day Edition
I'm coming to you LIVE from radio row in Arlington, Texas! Boy, the weather here sucks! Wait, I got confused. I'm actually coming to you live from my couch as I watch UW-Purdue on my big screen. The weather however, does in fact suck, although somehow Green Bay is missing the brunt of the blizzard that is hitting southern Wisconsin. The weather is actually not all that different here than it is in Dallas. And media people HATE it. I know because I heard local and national people bitch about it all day, and I didn't really watch or listen to that much stuff today. Here is a glimpse inside my slowly decaying mind today:
-They have awful weather in Dallas right now, and it made me think of three things: 1) It SUCKS to be one of the semi-normal people that cashed in your 401(k) to follow the Packers, only to have weather fuck up your trip. Can you imagine dropping $3k on a pair of plane tickets and then sit in the airport for two days? Jesus. Or to drive through this shit to Dallas. This is costing "normal", hard working Americans thousands of dollars they can't afford. I'm not kidding that there are probably thousands of people from this area who are putting off retiring for five years, or not paying for their kids to go to college because of this game. And many are getting fucked by mother nature right now. She is a dirty whore. Anyway, I hope you all make it safe, and you still find a way to drink 31 beers at Cowboy Stadium. The rich people that are having "difficulties" can suck my dick. Make your butler drive you there in your stretch Hummer or something. There will still be a Super Bowl for you next year (right?); 2) They are going to hold the Super Bowl at an OUTDOOR stadium in NEW YORK in FEBRUARY? This is absurd. You have been playing the Super Bowl in nice weather or domes for 45 years, and now you are going to chance a blizzard? Really NFL? Can you imagine the bitching and moaning if the media had to stand OUTSIDE in below zero weather? As much as I like January football in the elements, I'm starting to not like the idea of a Super Bowl in bad weather, because...3) I feel so fortunate that this game isn't going to be outdoors with this weather, because of the way the Packers seem to thrive, at least this team, which is by passing and timing. Weather can mess that up. I just feel more confident in controlled confines with this team. I'm not saying we couldn't win this game outdoors, I'm just happy it isn't.
-Reporter: "Did you hear from He Who Shall Not Be Named, or did you call him?", Rodgers: "No." Rodgers' tone: "Why would you ask me such a stupid fucking question. Don't you get that the guy is a prick and always has been? Are your really getting paid for this shit? If he called me, I would send him a picture of my middle finger, and then a picture of me fucking his daughter."
-Did anyone hear that the Steelers have been in Super Bowls recently? And the Packers haven't? And it pretty much means that the Steelers will win 73-0 unless Ray Nitchke comes back from the dead and plays middle linebacker? I think I've heard it enough. And I don't think it means shit. In fact, I'm going to do some research on Pro Football Reference. Here is what I did. I consider a Super Bowl team to have "experience" if they played in at least one SB in the last three years. Any longer than that means most guys on the team probably weren't around. Here is the list of Experienced v. Non-Experienced: (ED NOTE AFTER THE FACT: I honestly did not doctor these in any way to come up with a conclusion I wanted)
SBI: GB (Ex.) over KC
II: GB (Ex) over Oak
IV: KC (Ex) over Min (YEAH BITCH!)
V: Bal (Ex) over Dal
VI: Dal (Ex) over Mia
VII: Mia (Ex) over Was
VIII: Mia (Ex) over Min (HEHE)
IX: Pit over Min (Ex) (I would kill myself if the Packers lost 3 SB in 6 years)
X: Pit (Ex) over Dal
XI: Oak over Min (Ex) (Or 4 in 8)
XII: Dal (Ex) over Den
XIV: Pit (Ex) over Rams
XXII: Was over Den (Ex)
XXVI: Was over Buf (Ex)
XXVII: Dal over Buf (Ex)
XXX: Dal (Ex) over Pit
XXXII: Den over GB (Ex)
XXXIII: Den (Ex) over Atl
XXXVI: NE over Stl (Ex)
XXXVIII: NE (Ex) over Car
XXXIX: NE (Ex) over Phi
XLII: NYG over NE (Ex)
XLIV: NO over Ind (Ex)
So it has happened a lot more than I thought. 23 times in 44 years one of the teams had "experience" and the other didn't. The "experienced" team is 14-9. What I was interested in knowing, is of those 14 wins, how many times was the experienced team the favorite based on point spread? Answer: When the experienced team won, they were favored 11 times. Point spread is not a perfect indicator of who is better, but it is a pretty decent tool. To me, this means that only THREE times in Super Bowl history, did a team that was "experienced" beat a team with no experience that was better. (Super Bowls IV, V and VII). And it hasn't been done since Super Bowl VII which was in 1973.
So what does this mean? It means that Green Bay is considered, based on point spread, to be the better team. Experience hasn't mattered in this situation since 1973. I think history is on Green Bay's side.
-They have awful weather in Dallas right now, and it made me think of three things: 1) It SUCKS to be one of the semi-normal people that cashed in your 401(k) to follow the Packers, only to have weather fuck up your trip. Can you imagine dropping $3k on a pair of plane tickets and then sit in the airport for two days? Jesus. Or to drive through this shit to Dallas. This is costing "normal", hard working Americans thousands of dollars they can't afford. I'm not kidding that there are probably thousands of people from this area who are putting off retiring for five years, or not paying for their kids to go to college because of this game. And many are getting fucked by mother nature right now. She is a dirty whore. Anyway, I hope you all make it safe, and you still find a way to drink 31 beers at Cowboy Stadium. The rich people that are having "difficulties" can suck my dick. Make your butler drive you there in your stretch Hummer or something. There will still be a Super Bowl for you next year (right?); 2) They are going to hold the Super Bowl at an OUTDOOR stadium in NEW YORK in FEBRUARY? This is absurd. You have been playing the Super Bowl in nice weather or domes for 45 years, and now you are going to chance a blizzard? Really NFL? Can you imagine the bitching and moaning if the media had to stand OUTSIDE in below zero weather? As much as I like January football in the elements, I'm starting to not like the idea of a Super Bowl in bad weather, because...3) I feel so fortunate that this game isn't going to be outdoors with this weather, because of the way the Packers seem to thrive, at least this team, which is by passing and timing. Weather can mess that up. I just feel more confident in controlled confines with this team. I'm not saying we couldn't win this game outdoors, I'm just happy it isn't.
-Reporter: "Did you hear from He Who Shall Not Be Named, or did you call him?", Rodgers: "No." Rodgers' tone: "Why would you ask me such a stupid fucking question. Don't you get that the guy is a prick and always has been? Are your really getting paid for this shit? If he called me, I would send him a picture of my middle finger, and then a picture of me fucking his daughter."
-Did anyone hear that the Steelers have been in Super Bowls recently? And the Packers haven't? And it pretty much means that the Steelers will win 73-0 unless Ray Nitchke comes back from the dead and plays middle linebacker? I think I've heard it enough. And I don't think it means shit. In fact, I'm going to do some research on Pro Football Reference. Here is what I did. I consider a Super Bowl team to have "experience" if they played in at least one SB in the last three years. Any longer than that means most guys on the team probably weren't around. Here is the list of Experienced v. Non-Experienced: (ED NOTE AFTER THE FACT: I honestly did not doctor these in any way to come up with a conclusion I wanted)
SBI: GB (Ex.) over KC
II: GB (Ex) over Oak
IV: KC (Ex) over Min (YEAH BITCH!)
V: Bal (Ex) over Dal
VI: Dal (Ex) over Mia
VII: Mia (Ex) over Was
VIII: Mia (Ex) over Min (HEHE)
IX: Pit over Min (Ex) (I would kill myself if the Packers lost 3 SB in 6 years)
X: Pit (Ex) over Dal
XI: Oak over Min (Ex) (Or 4 in 8)
XII: Dal (Ex) over Den
XIV: Pit (Ex) over Rams
XXII: Was over Den (Ex)
XXVI: Was over Buf (Ex)
XXVII: Dal over Buf (Ex)
XXX: Dal (Ex) over Pit
XXXII: Den over GB (Ex)
XXXIII: Den (Ex) over Atl
XXXVI: NE over Stl (Ex)
XXXVIII: NE (Ex) over Car
XXXIX: NE (Ex) over Phi
XLII: NYG over NE (Ex)
XLIV: NO over Ind (Ex)
So it has happened a lot more than I thought. 23 times in 44 years one of the teams had "experience" and the other didn't. The "experienced" team is 14-9. What I was interested in knowing, is of those 14 wins, how many times was the experienced team the favorite based on point spread? Answer: When the experienced team won, they were favored 11 times. Point spread is not a perfect indicator of who is better, but it is a pretty decent tool. To me, this means that only THREE times in Super Bowl history, did a team that was "experienced" beat a team with no experience that was better. (Super Bowls IV, V and VII). And it hasn't been done since Super Bowl VII which was in 1973.
So what does this mean? It means that Green Bay is considered, based on point spread, to be the better team. Experience hasn't mattered in this situation since 1973. I think history is on Green Bay's side.
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